All Grown Up

Word of the day:
גדלתי
(Gadalti)
I grew up
The past week was supposed to be all about enjoying Nashville, the place where I grew up. Enjoying the sights, the places, the people. I had everything planned out, I had high expectations. I knew how I wanted everything to go.
Instead, things happened, plans were cancelled, people had arguments, and general normal life that can happen to anyone anytime. I got scared a couple times and was afraid to leave.
But I stuck it out. I took everything in stride. I held my head high and adapted.
And this morning, as I get ready to say goodbye to my dad before he has to leave for his monthly week of treatment testing, I realize that I made it.
As much as I would have enjoyed the alternative, this week wasn't supposed to be about WHERE I grew up, but THAT I grew up.
That's not to say I don't have more growing to do, or that I am a full-blown adult (I like to emphasize the YOUNG part so I can get crayons at restaurants). I just mean that I passed my final test, I graduated. I'm ready to leave Nashville and I'm gonna be okay. I faced some hard stuff in the past few days, none of which I had even imagined before, and I pushed through.
Which means that I have the extraordinary honor of telling you guys that I leave Nashville today and I am just so excited!! I am writing from my phone because my laptop (and everything) is already packed up so it's going to be a little shorter. Let's get right into it:
I want to thank you, the readers, for being so awesome to me the past several weeks! This is my official last PRE-Aliyah blog post! The next time you visit my page or get yet another notification that I wrote a new post, it will be from Israel. GET PUMPED!!! It's going to be a great ride, and I can't wait to tell y'all about the amazing experiences I will have! I guess in comparison to the next step I don't have a whole lot to say except thank you to my readers, all my teachers (school or otherwise), my friends, my family, everyone who helped me get here! This evening I start my three day journey to the holy land and it's all because of every one of you. I have a philosophy that not only does everything happen for a reason, but I believe that if any one thing had been different up to any point in my life, I would not be where or who I was at that point. And today is the best proof I have. Despite many setbacks and frustrations, I am still here, bags packed, ready to move to Israel, my new home. So one more time before I go, thank you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

P.S. It is with grief I tell you that UT lost to Georgia yesterday by a FIELDGOAL (3 points) in overtime. Vols are 3-3.

THE FEELS (It's Here!!!)

This is going to be one of my last posts before my aliyah! I leave Nashville in five days. I might do a quick blog during my three day journey, but for now this my last one for a while.
Like I said, I leave in five days. This last week has definitely been the hardest (and I'm only two days in!). I'm somewhat of an emotional wreck, but I'll be okay. My parents are hanging in there for me because now it's MY turn to freak out. This week is all about packing and saying goodbye. I'm having to go through all the stuff I want to bring and weed out even more things because yesterday when I tried to pack not everything fit!
Sunday I spent the morning kayaking, napping, and also hanging out with my friend Nate who is also starting his aliyah process. It's really nice to talk to him in general and also I gave him advice and hints I wish I had known about when planning my aliyah. I also got to have dinner and a movie with my mom!
Yesterday I got to see the Rothberg's (I'm very close with the whole family) and then I had dinner with Hadar which was SO nice! We talked for hours and she gave me some great advice and some things to help me pack (compression bags, mainly). We did have the whole conversation in English. Since she is moving back home (to Israel) in eight months, I will have graduated from ulpan and we will have dinner then and speak only in Hebrew!
Today I'm having dinner with my dad and stepmom, and apparently it's a pre-birthday dinner! In all the craziness of making aliyah, I keep forgetting my 20th birthday is right around the corner. I keep saying that my Israeli citizenship is the best birthday present I can give myself!
I'm much calmer now that I've watched the season premiere of Modern Family (I'M SORRY ANA I KNOW I'M A HORRIBLE FRIEND I COULDN'T WAIT ANY LONGER), eaten some food, gotten more packing done, and written a blog. I was going to wait until I had my visa, but I really like writing these so I had a hard time waiting (also, it might not even be here today, I might have to wait until tomorrow ahhh!).
The rest of this week is absolutely packed with things to do and people to see. I'm very excited for most of it, and I will be very sad to leave as this has been one of my best summers (and beginnings of fall) I've had in Nashville. There's a lot of people I wish I had gotten to spend more time with or met sooner. I'm just grateful for the time I have had and if I don't have the opportunity to see you before I leave (I'm trying to see as many friends as possible but I also need to set aside time for my family), then I'm truly sorry and we will have to catch up on Skype or meet up when I come home to visit!
Also, apparently parts of the United States government shut down today (?) and I can honestly say that I am over worrying/caring about American politics. Many of you know I used to be somewhat active in preserving various human rights, but now I am just looking forward to life as an Israeli starting in a week. As of right now I will be staying a dual citizen American-Israeli, but that means I also have to file my taxes and everything from overseas. The longer I stay in Israel, the less likely I will want to deal with TWO citizenships and TWO sets of tax forms and all that, so I guess we'll just see what happens.

P.S. The Vols beat S. Alabama on Saturday which makes us 3-2!! This season is lookin good!

I was just going to go ahead and post this but my visa just showed up!!!! I opened the door and saw the FedEx guy and started screaming and crying (hey, I already warned y'all I'm an emotional roller coaster this week) and I almost hugged him. He was really confused and said, "What? Is there a million dollars in here or something?" and then our neighbor was walking her dog and asked what was so exciting and I was just so overwhelmed I couldn't talk so my mom explained for me. I was hugging her and just being so excited I could barely sign for it. I ripped it open and inside there was my passport and a receipt so I was kind of confused but my mom showed me that it's actually already officially and beautifully glued into my passport. I'm so happy and relieved! Now all I have to do is pack a few more things (seriously, I'm almost done) and otherwise enjoy my last week in my beautiful hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. This Southern gal is MAKING ALIYAH!!!!

Ohhhhh Boy!

Oh boy. What an intense week and a half it's been since I last posted! The Vols lost to both Oregon and Florida (though we put up a much better fight with the Gators than last year, and, had we played Oregon last year, we were definitely better prepared), the Titans won on Sunday, and we're playing South Alabama on Saturday and it should be a good one! I've started my packing, a lot of parting ways with favorite books, movies, clothes, etc. I have a long ways to go, but I officially leave Nashville in less than two weeks! I have started calling the Israeli Consulate yesterday about my visa and passport because I finally confirmed they had gotten it (more than two weeks ago). Today, they called me back to tell me the Jewish Agency would have it Monday, and I would have it Tuesday or Wednesday!!!

It's Sukkot which is one of my favorite holidays! I am so glad I get to spend this one with my family. I helped build it, decorate it, and of course have eaten several meals in it! I also went to a Sukkot potluck where I saw lots of people and had a great time. Cantor Lane even gave me some advice on what to do about my visa! It was really great. I also saw my fourth grade teacher and her family (who I had seen before), but her parents were there also, and her dad was in the Six Day war so we talked some about serving in the IDF. I saw my Hebrew School teacher (who I later worked with a few years ago) who is very dear to me, his wife (also a dear family friend!), and their nine-month-old son.

My family's sukkah

Saturday night Ana took me to my house and there were all these people sitting in the living room and said "Surprise!" I had been feeling kind of depressed because I have been very lonely lately, so it was lovely to see so many wonderful faces! I had known there was going to be a surprise party (I had figured it out but didn't tell my mom), but I had no idea who was coming! It was truly special. Not to mention all the wonderful things people gave me! These are gifts that are truly from the heart, folks. I got tomatoes and basil from a home garden, a "nesiyah tovah" from a non-Hebrew speaker, a painting from a three-year-old, instructions to be a "shaliach mitzvah" (the mitzvah was to have a good time!), three wonderful cards/notes, a very special travel mezuzah (which I thought was for a car, but is actually a necklace!), and the gift of all the people who came to show their love and support (and who managed to keep it secret better than my mom! She was the one who unknowingly gave it away haha). It really took my mind off waiting for my visa/passport, and showed me that I have lots of people who love me, even if they had to miss the party! I still have no idea who was invited, but yesterday when I went into work one of my coworkers asked how the party was and that she was sorry she missed it! I feel so blessed to have all these people sending me well wishes when I'm in Israel.

Of course, this happened when I posted my thanks of Facebook:
"When are you going to come clean & confess it's all a joke? This has gone far enough!"
Which reminds me of how I told my mom about all this. In May, my mom and I agreed I needed a car to get around (Nashville and Knoxville aren't very pedestrian friendly). When I came back from Israel, about a week and a half later, 
Mom: Let's start talking about the car.
Shirit: Hmmm... maybe not.
M: Why not? You need a car.
S: Maybe I don't.
M: You need a car in Knoxville.
S: Well, what if I didn't go back to school?
M: What else would you do?
S: I could get a job, movetoIsrael, stay in Nashville, lots of things.
M: Wait, move to Israel?
S: Mayyybe.

From there, she spent the next month trying to call my bluff until I was ready to tell everyone, when it finally hit her.
(I would tell the story about telling my dad, but it was less funny and involved a lot more Mexican food.)

Guys, I know this move is hard on more people than just my family and me. But maybe it won't hit others until I'm gone. That's okay. It's hit me several times while other times I'm completely numb to the fact that I'm leaving the people I love. I do know that at first when I arrive in Israel, I will feel it all the time, but probably the people here will feel it off and on.

Sorry I keep going on tangents, everything is all over the place (literally, my stuff is allllll over the house) and so is my brain!!


FYI:
For the non-Hebrew speakers out there:
Sukkot = Jewish holiday, hard to explain http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkot
Nesiyah tovah = have a good trip!
Shaliach Mitzvah = someone who is on a mission to do a mitzvah, such as a favor, and is therefore supposed to be under the special protection of God.
Mezuzah = also hard to explain http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mezuzah

Oh This City's Wild...Until We Say Goodbye

AHHH! Things have been nutty (as always). I am officially PAST the four weeks to go mark!
Still waiting on my visa. Maybe next week it will come.
I said goodbye to people in Knoxville last weekend. I didn't want to write a post right after because I was somewhat depressed about it. It was hard mainly because I didn't see a lot of people I wanted to meet up with, and then the people I did see I had to say goodbye to them indefinitely...! Now I am out of that funk mostly because...
I went to an amazing concert last night! It was the last Live on the Green of the 2013 season, featuring all local bands, with Moon Taxi headlining! I had gone to the Matt Nathanson one (I only saw The Mowglis in the end), but this one was super incredible. I was supposed to meet up with my best friend after coming with my brother, but it was impossible. And yet I still had a good time! After a week of feeling pretty lonely, it was nice to just rock out to my FAVORITE song LIVE, for FREE! I came home glittery and exhausted yet filled with adrenaline (we left while it was still hype) and so happy. The wonderful thing about music is that it is so therapeutic, especially when you are surrounded by people all receiving that same wonderful therapy as you. It connects the audience and creates a sense of unanimity. When we were waiting for Moon Taxi to come out, we were shouting, "USA! USA! USA!" which some people thought was "Moon Ta-Xay! Moon Ta-xay! Moon Ta-xay!" (This IS the South, after all) We were all dancing and singing and clapping our hands, there were even crowd surfers! (Some in a kiddie pool, even haha) When I got home, I had to stay up for another hour packing because...
This is my first post NOT from Nashville! I am in San Antonio, Texas to visit my grandmother this weekend! Right now I'm waiting for her to finish her treatment and then hopefully we can get some lunch. I was going to go to the mall over here with the big cowboy boots but after having to wake up at 5 am for the flight, I was so tired I fell asleep when I got to the hotel. I'm having fun because my mom surprised me with a king size bed which I have never slept in before! And I'm now friends with one of the concierges who came to get me from the airport, so I asked him what to do around here and he said, "You know, I've been here too long. I think it's pretty boring. And I can say that to you because you're young!" Well, that got me thinking.
When I was ready to move to Knoxville, I started loving Nashville more. I didn't resent it as much.
When I decided to move to Israel, I began to see the beautiful things about my home city that I hadn't noticed before. The way the sunrise is beyond beautiful from downtown. The nature to enjoy in Bellevue. The kind people. The sound of music everywhere. The way the city takes care of its own. Now, I still know that Nashville isn't perfect--neither is Israel, no place is--but I came to see all the city has to offer in its unique way. I began to take advantage of cheap and free concerts, especially. It's truly special. I will admit that I am going through a country phase, wearing my cowboy boots everywhere and learning to love country music, but it's not all bad. I'll bring my bit of the South to the Holy Land, saying "shalom, y'all!"
When it comes to Nashville and leaving for Israel I only have one thing to say.
"This much I know is true...God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you."
P.S. Vols did it again! vs. WKU, 52-20
That makes us 2-0! Wish those boys luck in Oregon tomorrow, let's get that upset!

UPDATE: Since I am not a faster and also am in San Antonio with my non-Jewish grandmother, I totally forgot. Hope everyone has an easy fast. G'mar chatimah tovah!

Next Year in Jerusalem

Five weeks to go.
I'm still waiting on my visa, but this week was all about buying things without spending too much money! As a lifeguard I currently make minimum wage but I still need lots before I leave. I have become a master at finding what I need for as little money as possible. This is a really good skill for when I'm on an ulpan or army salary, but it will be a lot harder when it's all in Hebrew. I went to the army surplus store yesterday to get my giant duffel bags in which I will put EVERYTHING that I am bringing with me (I'm allowed three 150 lb. bags. I figure duffles weigh less than suitcases so I can bring more). I decided to go for the used bags and ended up getting them for more than half off! I also found a dress for Rosh HaShana (which starts in a few hours) for 75% off. Today I went to Plato's closet and got a jacket and some accessories to go with it and a bathing suit (I only have one and I figure I'm moving to the beach) all for 20 bucks! I know I sound completely money and shopping obsessed, but being able to survive on a tight budget is important to me and I made some pretty impressive buys this week.
Speaking of Rosh HaShana, I am so excited for the next couple of days! Tonight is dinner with the family, and then partway through services I'm going to pick up my friend from Vandy so he can join us after his class. I know that it's going to be even crazier than when I had to answer questions about college, so I'm prepared to face the entire congregation one at a time, explaining over and over that I'm moving to Israel. Beyond that, I decided to direct them here. That's what it's for, right?!? Mostly I am in disbelief that next year I will be spending the High Holy Days in Israel!
Anyway, I am recovering from strep and still feeling a bit miserable from working and running around and getting stuff done! Time to rest up before the chag!

P.S. 8/31 Vols v. APSU 45-0
Vols are 1-0!

Six Weeks to Go!

Hi everyone! Yesterday marked the six week mark until I am officially an Israeli citizen! Here's a little update on everything that's been going on:

I am now officially waiting for my visa approval and arrival. I sent my application and information on Monday, which required a trip to the bank and FedEx, but it was totally worth it.
I've officially been accepted into the Ulpan at Kibbutz Yagur! I couldn't find other accommodations so I'll be staying in Petach Tikva until about a week and a half before the program starts and I can move in. If you know of anyone in Petach Tikva or in the surrounding area (Tel Aviv is the closest major city), I am looking for a temporary job between mid-October and December 24. Shameless advertising...begin: I am MDA certified in CPR and first aid and have experience in childcare if that is an option. My Hebrew is just okay, so the younger the children the better. But, I learn pretty quickly and it's just temporary so I am willing to take any job available :)
My last day at the pool is September 25! It's been a wonderful summer and I have been so blessed to be part of this staff. I'm sad that my boss won't be around for four out of the last six weeks we have (her daughter is getting married!!!), but fortunately she'll be around to say goodbye. ALSO the weather is absolutely GORGEOUS right now and is predicted to be so almost all the way through my departure!

On a less fun note: Let's talk about Syria for a minute.
I don't know exactly what's going on. Nobody can. But right now the US is collaborating with the UK and France to attack Syria because someone in Syria used chemical weapons. I say someone because it is RUMORED that it was Assad, but there is no proof. Now, the US said last year that if chemical warfare came into play, it would intervene. Great. Fine. But here are the problems: 1. All these countries are planning on intervening without approval from the UN's Security Council, which 2. Italy disagrees with, 3. Russia is upset about the whole ordeal and doesn't agree with the airstrike at all, and 4. less than 9% of Americans are on board with the idea of an airstrike (about 4% support invading with US troops).
Let's tie all this into Israel, since that's where I'm headed and what this blog is about: since all these weapons are pointed at Syria, Israel is basically the monkey in the middle. Today the IAF (Israeli Air Force) announced that an additional Iron Dome has been deployed in the north, the Hetz (Arrow) system has increased its alert level, and there is talk of an Iron Dome for the Middle (Mercaz) [thanks to yNet for this info]. Everyone who doesn't already have one is lining up for a gas mask, and Haredim are upset because the special masks with air pumps that are intended for people with asthma (that happen to also fit beards) are being saved for...you got it, people with asthma.

Remember how I said I wanted to join the Home Front Command? Those are the people in charge of all this stuff. Taking care of the citizens in any emergency (war or otherwise). Here's what that means: I, just like any other resident of Israel, will be at some level of risk. That's the way life is in Israel. Being in active combat would put me at a higher level of risk. Being in the military at all puts me somewhere in between. Joining the HFC within the next year and a half will most likely put me in a position where I will be extremely busy and I will probably see some things (more than if the Syria thing was a nonissue). That's what I'm signing up for, though. As a medic, I will be very important in this situation. They need people like me, who are willing to take that challenge. Not saying anything will happen, but if anything happens, it will be because I was doing my job and defending the State of Israel. And that's an okay thing by me.

My inbox is always open! See you next week!

Confirmed Flight!

The last few days haven't been interesting individually, but collectively are very exciting!

When I decided to make aliyah, I figured I needed to find a support system of olim to help answer some questions and maybe help me find a job in the future. Of course, I went to Facebook. I am now a member of the following groups: Nefesh B'Nefesh, Aliyah Survival, Nefesh B'Nefesh- Jobs in Israel, Anglos in Israel, and Anglo-Israel Job Network. At first, it seemed like a lot of spam. But the other day I posted a question about contacting Kibbutz Yagur, and it ended with one person straight up calling the kibbutz for me and informing me that their office is currently closed and I'll be able to contact them in two weeks. Also, I got my passport photos taken! They are mostly for ID cards and Immigration Booklets, but still exciting. Most importantly...I CONFIRMED MY FLIGHT YESTERDAY! Yes, I am officially leaving the United States on October 7th! And, best of all, arriving in Ben-Gurion as an Olah Chadashah (New immigrant) on October 8th, 2013!! I am beyond excited. I realized the other day that once I say goodbye to some of these people, the next time I will see them I will have an IDF uniform (and for some I will be wearing that uniform, such as when I visit my high school and Akiva). I have been thinking about what will happen when I come home to visit. I like to think I will be bombarded with Facebook messages and Viber calls, but I do know that life will have continued for everyone. Things will not be the same as I left them. My sister will be driving, friends will have moved permanently to their college's cities, teachers will have moved to other schools or retired, some may have even forgotten about me altogether. And that's okay. Their lives do not revolve around me or a visit from me. I do hope that if I contact them asking for a cup of coffee while I'm in town, we'll be able to grab lunch.

Some Very Special Teachers

Today I saw my doctor for the last time, who said she would write my clearance letter! I know I'm healthy and all that, but everything is a step. I saw Hadar and had a conversation with her almost primarily in Hebrew (I don't know the word for "paperwork"). The main reason I don't practice with her or Yafa more often is because other people are always around and I've heard it's not socially acceptable to speak, for instance, Hebrew, if not everyone in the conversation speak Hebrew. I've texted Yafa in Hebrew, but my grammar was way off. I hope I will pick up quickly, even before my ulpan! Actually, here's a shout out to all the Hebrew teachers I've had over the years who helped me not only to develop my ability to read, speak, and write in Hebrew, but consequently also helped feed that love for Israel that is bringing me on this journey! I especially want to thank three very special people who all happen to be teachers (everything you know can be traced back to something a teacher told you!).

First, Evelyn Koch. Mrs. Koch, I can honestly say that it's all your fault. Through all my years at Akiva, we had a blast together. Dancing, singing, learning, and praying (okay, that last one wasn't so fun for me at the time) all in Hebrew made all the difference. But the one thing that stands out is my sixth grade Israel History class. Learning about the original chayalim and how Israel was born was fascinating to me at the time, but is now part of MY history. When I was at Har Herzl this summer, I had the opportunity to sing Eli Eli to Hanah Senesch's grave, a song you taught me, fulfilling a dream I always had. A few days before that, though, in Tel Aviv, we went to the converted art museum where David Ben-Gurion gave his famous speech and Israel declared independence. When they played the tape so we could close our eyes and pretend we were there, HaTikva came on. It was the first time I sang HaTikva in Israel, and I felt so connected in that moment. And yet, I stood out, singing the harmony you taught me all those years ago, bringing a bit of Nashville to the place that I will soon call home. It was so beautiful that even the manliest of all the men in that room had tears welling up in their eyes.

Second, Yafa Baer! I know you taught me when I was little, but what I learned when we were teaching together stuck more. You taught me how to teach about Israel, which is not something I take lightly. Having to explain to my non-Jewish friends about why I am moving is easier when you can teach them at such a fundamental level (hey, we only taught first graders!) about why Israel is important to not only the Jewish people but Jewish people individually. You keep me laughing and caffeinated and I am your scribe and translator!

And Revital Ganzi, my Hebrew instructor during my year at UT. She not only taught me Hebrew and taught me to keep loving Israel, she also helped develop my idea to serve in the IDF, and, beyond that, in general taking me under her wing. I had so much fun at Shabbat dinners where everyone was either Israeli or Chabad and spoke Hebrew, allowing me to practice for a whole night in a purely social setting. Getting coffee and helping with the KJDS musical were things that let me know that I had a Jewish support system in Knoxville, even if I didn't fully realize the source at the time.

Whenever any of you spoke to me about Israel, told me about coffee shops, favorite cities, or showed me pictures, you made me fall in love with a place that then was so far away. So this is my official thank you to all three of you, and an open invitation to come visit me in Israel (Yafa, I hope you finally make the move next year like you say!). Maybe it'll be soon enough for you to see me in uniform! Nothing would make me prouder than to be living proof of your impact on the world and the State of Israel.

The Most Meaningful 15 Days of My Life

[I began writing this Tuesday night, so until stated, it is from Tuesday's perspective.]

First a life update, then a VERY special post about the most amazing people on Earth.

Life Update:

Last night I had so much fun! I babysat one of my former campers. We played scooters in the gym, ate a fun dinner from the vending machine (which was broken so we got FOUR bags of chips for the price of one!) and the pool cafe, talked about Israel and Ireland (where his family is from, a few generations back), and eventually found ourselves pretending to be the Eleventh Doctor and Amy until his mom showed up. Then I went out with a new friend who has decided that we're going to cover all the bases on my Nashville bucket list together because he leaves for Germany for a year right before I leave for Israel! I didn't get home til 3 AM so I was really tired this morning. Thankfully I didn't work til noon so I was awake by the time I had to be on the stand (but it was super rainy and overcast so it was an easy day...I left BEFORE 8 PM!)

The Meat of this post:

This is going to take a while and will be boring for some people, but y'all can write your own blogs! This is the post where I talk about my Taglit (Birthright) trip and its participants. No TL;DR's, sorry!

As many of you know, I hadn't decided to make aliyah this year until I came back from my Taglit trip. I became a different person, a more spiritual person, a more loving person. I won't bore you with the details of my trip, but here is the story of how I knew I had make a 180 and would never be the same.

When we arrived at the Bedouin tents, it was like walking into another world. We had seen (and ridden!) camels for the first time, and the food was incredible. Ron told us that using utensils was rude, so we had a blast eating with our hands and pita, even the saucy rice! We had frisbees and soccer balls, but when we sat down for our bonfire, the instruments came out. We had some incredibly talented individuals in our group, but, most importantly, everyone sang together. As a result, we were the loudest and best-sounding group in the whole campsite (there were several other groups spending the night as well). When there was a lull, Kat reminded us of the meditation exercises she had put together. A lot of us wanted to stay and keep making music, but she made it very clear it would only work if everyone was there. Finally, everyone was walking towards an open area in the Judo-Samaran desert. The first thing we noticed was the sky. Most of us had never seen so many stars in our life! It was so beautiful, but we kept walking. Kat wanted it to be as quiet and far away from other groups as possible. Finally, we found a good spot. Since we had all been assigned a number on the first day of the trip, she instructed the evens to sit in a circle with their eyes closed and heads down. The odds were to circle around them standing up. As 35, I was intrigued. I was one of the people who wanted to stay behind because I thought we were going to be doing stuff like yoga out here, and it was so rocky! Kat told us to walk briskly around the evens while she read aloud various positive adjectives. We were to tap anyone on the shoulder who we thought could be described by that adjective (smart, funny, etc.). It was so beautiful. I never wanted it to end because I felt the need to tell everyone how amazing I think they are. All of a sudden, it was our turn. I sat down, expecting a tap here and there, knowing people liked me but I wasn't overly special or anything. I closed my eyes. All I could hear was the sound of Kat's voice. All I could feel was the constant thrum of taps, hair ruffles, quick hugs, kisses, taps on my arm from those next to me, and people brushing their fingers across my upper back when rushed. I began to cry. Then I began sobbing uncontrollably. Never in my life have I experienced such pure love. Every person telling me I was brave knew I would never know who they were exactly. Every person telling me I was kind meant it so purely, entirely unadulterated. These were people I had only known for a week or so. People who were under no obligation to like me, much less love me. I was paralyzed by the overwhelming emotion. Kat told us that we were to find a place to ourselves and meditate and enjoy the stars and the silence. As I sat in that same spot and cried softly, I realized I finally knew the true meaning of love. Before all this, I was the person who believed that if God existed, God was love, but there wasn't enough evidence to support it. When twenty-five relative strangers express such love for twenty-five more strangers, what more evidence is necessary? I looked up at the stars, the constellations, and realized I had found God. I sat with that thought and the tears began to flow again. Kat announced quietly that we were going to be heading back to camp. I continued to cry and was unable to speak as a few people surrounded me, hugged me, kissed me, and didn't ask what was wrong. They helped me up, asked if I was okay, and I could only break a smile and nod as the tears continued to flow. Then I was bombarded by the whole group, fortunately a few people at a time. More hugs, more kisses, more "are you okay?"s, and plenty of people to help me stop crying and get back to camp. I was fairly silent for a while after, until we started singing again and, during a break, I told Aaron what had happened out there in the desert. Zach and I spent the whole night (only four hours after almost everyone else had gone to bed) talking with other Taglit groups and playing crazy games and getting to know one another.

The next day consisted of hiking up Masada at sunrise, and as I saw this wonder, I had to keep reminding myself that last night was real and I was now a person that believed in a loving God. By the end of the day, we were in Jerusalem.

Our first full day in Jerusalem we went to the Western Wall (aka HaKotel HaMaravit, aka "the Kotel"). I had been preparing for this for a month, collecting notes and tzedakah (charity) from people around the JCC and the Jewish Federation of Nashville office. As a man was blessing me, my family, and my friends, I saw a blob of curly hair that had stopped out of the corner of my eye. When he was finally done, I saw that it was my friend from USY Michelle! We hugged quickly, exchanged reasons for being in Israel, and then I had to run to catch up with the rest of my group. We were briefed on what to expect, and then we said goodbye to the boys and made our way as a group of strong Jewish American women visiting the Kotel for the first time in our adult lives (many of us for the first time ever). Over the course of the trip, I had learned a lot about my fellow participants, and they about me. I'll forgo the details at the Wall as they are personal to not just myself but also some of the other girls with whom I had an extremely emotional experience. But as I walked away (backwards, as is symbolic to never fully turn your back on the Jewish people and its history, which is embodied in the Wall), I realized that everything had brought me to that moment. I thanked God for when I had to get a job instead of going on Ramah Seminar. I thanked God for when I got sick and couldn't go on Get Connected. I was thankful for every fight, every break-up, every detail, good or bad, that had led me to this particular trip, to this particular group. If I had gone with an organization other than Israel Experience, signed up for no extension, gone earlier or later than that particular date, been assigned to that bus, met those people, taken those risks, I would not have had that revelation in the desert, I would not have had as meaningful an experience at the Kotel, I would not be making Aliyah this October.

Aaron (TWO SIX)- You helped me through a true religious experience, with which I was unfamiliar. I don't know anybody who loves Israel more than you, and you were one of the first to be my brother in the group.

Adam- My wingman! Remember when Jesse and I helped you buy that hat on the first day? Instant friendship. I love how inseparable we were after. Come visit, and maybe I'll get to show off my improved haggling skills!

Adva- Oh yeah, I'm including the Israelis! You were a part of our trip! Adva, my roommate! Between the bird and teaching us about Israeli TV, we've always had a good laugh. Can't wait to see you again soon!

Amanda (Mandee)- The other birdie roommate :) You are the kind of person that can pull off cargo pants and airport clothes and still look awesome. The secret badass who is crazy smart but also really sweet. I hope you come to Israel so we can have more laughs!

Andrew- You ALWAYS could make me laugh. For some reason, you were a master at putting a smile on my face!

Annelise- You are truly a beautiful person. I'm so glad I know you, and for some reason I can't think of anything else to say because I have this feeling I'll see you again, sister!

Brianna (Bri)- My plane buddy :) Your accent flips me out, and you are HILARIOUS. Thanks for the gum, the smiles, and being my first friend on our trip.

Cass (Cass Money)- Whatever it is you do, you do YOU. I loved how when I was being goofy because I was a little scared of the camel and waved at you funny, you waved back! So glad I got a picture of that ;) You also helped me through some crazy stuff that last night of the trip. You are a true sister from another mister!

Chen- Even though we didn't talk much personally, I do know that you are one of the most fashionable people I know! We'll have to go shopping and have coffee when I get settled. I'm so glad I'll have the time to get to know you better!

Cody (Red Passion, Barak)- My brother from another mother. You have done some crazy stuff, and now we've done some crazy stuff together! I hope you'll come visit me and we can have even more adventures :)

Dan- I know I'll see you when I'm finally Israeli, but until then, know that all my local friends know about that damn goat.

David- Sexy thighs, man. You're such a sweetheart and I love having you as my brother!

Eden- Again, I didn't talk to you a whole lot, but I know you were probably the coolest person on our trip! Guess we can confirm or deny that when I'm back in Israel!

Elinor- What, did you think you trip leaders were exempt?? No way! Elinor, I cannot begin to describe how amazing you are. You helped me so much when I was first entertaining the idea of making Aliyah in the fall instead of waiting a few years. I consider you the big sister I never had, but also a mentor (I guess they go hand in hand). I can't wait to see you in October!!!!!

Emily- Who but you brings a flute on their Birthright trip?? Real talk, you're incredible and hilarious and I missed you every day of that extension!

Emma- You are hilarious and sweet and an amazing friend. We had some great times together and I hope you come visit me!

Eugene- I wish I could say something more meaningful than making a joke about eggs. Just kidding, you're one of the most genuine people I know and I'm honored to know you :)

Ev- Other plane buddy! You are truly unique and it's been a trip to know you. Come visit me in the holy land any time :)
EYAL- I can't believe I almost forgot you!!! Even though you probably will never see this, it must be said what a great bus driver you are. You put up with ALL our crap, including 2 AM pickups, helping us with luggage, and so on. Thank you Eyal for being our driver!!

Gabe- You are my camel buddy 4 lyfe. Ain't no bond stronger than that. You were by my side the whole trip and we had some amazing talks about religion and God and camels and dinosaurs and everything! I cannot wait for you to come see me in my new home :)

Isabel (Izzy)- Fellow coxswain, instant friendship! 'Nuff said!

Janet- My secret badass! You are talented, funny, and a GREAT roommate! I loved spending time with you :)

Jasper- You crazy man. Making drum kits out of water bottles and logs and anything else you can find. Being one of the kindest people on our bus. Partying with the hardest of us. Loving accordingly. Promise you'll come visit and we'll throw down :)

Jesse (Nips)- I befriended you in the airport, praying you would be on my bus. You are THE most unique person I know, with a heart as big as the Earth. And although you almost never wore a shirt that actually functioned as a proper shirt, you were in a good place to be you. I hope you know that, and visit me soon.

Jonathan (Jon)- I can honestly say that one of the things I miss about our bus is your laugh. You were an exceptional group leader, even though you had already done everything 983504981305 times already and sometimes you got bored (*cough* camels...I have photo evidence). You taught me more about Israeli politics and in a different way so I could better understand. You're all-around a great guy and I hope to hear that you'll be in Israel soon so we can hang out again!

Jon K. (Jon the Participant)- You have a really big heart and an extraordinary smile! I'm so glad you were on our bus!

Josh L.- Sleepyhead. You slept every bus ride and, because you always wore headphones, were so confused every time we woke you up. Sometimes, though, you'd surprise us by interjecting your two cents while we thought you were sleeping or just not paying attention! 

Josh B. (DECEPTICON)- I loved watching you grow on this trip. Not just because you had a birthday, but when you actually started to talk. You have some incredible things to say and a captivating voice. Consider this an open invitation to visit me in Israel to discuss anything and everything and in general have a good time!

Katharine (K-Dog, Kat-bomb, K-Diggity, Kat, Kat-dog, Snug Bud, etc.)- Where to begin? You are a true sister, one that, if I allowed myself, I would spend the rest of the night discussing the finer points on how much I love you and why (It's half past midnight now, and I've got a full day tomorrow). Since I can't, I will just say that you are one of the people that helped me evolve into this new person (more directly than creating a meaningful meditation session for the whole bus), taught me how to love the new me by simply being a loving person to others, and in general is a kind soul who I am proud to know. And on that note, let's end the mushy stuff and PARTY!

Kayla- I hope you'll see this. You are just an incredible person who always sticks to her guns. I am so glad to know you!

In order to keep the flow and stay away from tired-Shirit speak, I'll continue this in the morning. Goodnight!

It's a stormy day in Nashville, so I'm glad I have enough battery to last me a while! Let's get this ball rolling again, shall we?

Lea- I don't know where to start. You are a kind-hearted person who knows just what to say. You know how to get down which resulted in some great memories! I really hope I will see my sister soon in Israel :)

Madeline- I didn't get to talk to you that much, but I know you're a sweet girl who loves to party! Maybe when you come to Israel we'll get to hang out more :)

Maggie- From the moment I met you, I knew you were tres fab! Beyond that, we had some very deep discussions about anything and everything and I was so sad when you left (and couldn't say goodbye). Please come visit me next time you're in Israel!

Mai- My Mai! Achoti! I loved getting to know you. You helped a lot when I was trying to figure out what to do about the army for when I made aliyah. I can't wait to see you again, and soon you'll see me in MY uniform!

Marisa- My rivallllll. Just kidding! Even though you're a Bama girl, we had some good times together, especially when we were roomies! Feel free to hit me up when you come to Israel next :)

Matthew (Matt, Chicken Little, Chicken Nugget, Nugget, etc.)- My baby brother! I miss you so much and I better see you in Israel sometime soon, ya hear? 

Melissa- In being my sweetheart roomie in Tel Aviv, we had some amazing times together! For a high school teacher, you are a lot of fun. I hope you and Corey have a long life together, and spend some of it visiting Israel (and me)!

Morgan (Captain Morgan, The Captain, "Morgan Lane")- You were a staple of our bus. The one person who isn't afraid to tell us to shut up and listen to Ron, but also the one who can get down like no other! I loved getting to know you and gossiping on the extension like middle school girls! You were a great roommate and helped me get through that last night. I hope you come visit me in Israel!

Nitsan- Nitsani! I was glad you came to us in a pinch and that you were the one chosen to be our guard and medic. You brought an element of order to our chaotic bus, and yet we all know you are fun-loving! I hope to see you when I come to Israel :)

Noah- Oh god, Noah. I love being able to call you my brother. You might be one of the craziest people I know, but at the same time you are a down-to-earth and pure, caring soul. I know that I will see you again and we can enjoy Israel together.

Noam (PARTY BOY)- Achi, you have a captivatingly beautiful voice. When we sing together, I feel so connected like nothing else matters. You are soulful and a wonderful human, and I can't wait to spend more time with you when I am back in Israel. Besides, you know how to party like no other!!

Ron- I am proud to call you Dad (I already have an Abba). You taught me that no matter how secular you are, you can still love God, the Jewish people, and all that comes with being Jewish. The stories you told and the way you presented the land of Israel were so unique and meaningful, even if you were telling it as a Star Wars metaphor! Your words would bring me to other lands, ancient times, funny situations, battlefronts, and spiritual places. I know when I come to Israel, I will be able to call you and Rotem if I need a place to feel at home. You are an incredible person and I am so excited that our story did not end the day I left Israel.

Sara- I am so glad to know you! You are hilarious and sweet and we had some great times together! I hope we can hang out when you come back to Israel :)

Skylar- You are an amazing person and SO much fun! I'm happy to call you my sister and you have an open invitation for when you come to Israel!

Sydney G. (Japan)- You are such a talented artist! Designing the original shirts with you was a great experience, and I'm glad we're snapchat buds still :) Come visit me in the holy land and we'll take more selfies and party hard!

Sydnye B. (Mom)- Sydnye, I cannot describe the way I feel about you. We did have some crazy times, but the moments I remember most are the meaningful talks and when we prayed together for the first time. You will always be my sister and I reserve a special place in my heart for the angel nephew I love :) You are such a strong and beautiful person that MUST come visit me the moment she comes back to Israel.

Vittorio Lino (Vito, Lino, Mustachio, etc.)- You are such a unique person, the first person that I sat next to on the bus. In that time, we talked about so many things including politics, nature, and music. Besides all the crazy quirks that I could talk about (*cough* the famous banana hammock), we had some amazing times together and I'm glad I got to know you as well as I did. Please come visit so we can make even more memories!

Yoela (Justice, Chief Justice)- Even though we didn't always get along, I still have a special place in my heart for you because you were a part of our bus, and, as mentioned earlier, things might not have gone the way they did if even the smallest thing had been different. You are brilliant and funny (even when you don't mean to be), and while we clashed on many things, I still respect you and hope we can sit down for some coffee when you come back to Israel :)

Zach- My favorite part about what our friendship was that it was exactly that. If all the other stuff was gone, we would still be very good friends who tied cherry stems in knots with our tongues and burped in each other's faces and saw Israel for the first time side by side. And the best part is that we still are pop rock loving friends who will be reunited in Israel, back where it started. You have a special place in my heart, and I can't wait to see you again and show you my uniform and tell you about the crazy stories that I'll have.

For those of you reading this and were not on my Birthright trip, I hope this wasn't too dull for you but maybe shed some light on the incredible people that helped shape me into the pre-Aliyah person I am today. 

Finding Toiletries (Sorry, Nemo)

I'm going a little crazy. I did some unpacking of things from my college dorm (yes, this summer has been THAT busy), and went through five boxes. I sorted every little thing. I have one almost-full box of things to be put in the attic, four boxes of things for my mom and sister to have, sell, or hide, and a bunch of stuff lying on the ground that will be coming with me. I think I will put them in boxes for now (probably one box worth), but I will be going to an army surplus store this week for my new luggage. I've decided to bring one photo of my brother and me. It's from Cleveland when I was probably three years old, and lives in a frame I made in preschool in Ohio. Thanks to technology, I will have the other photos to look at, but I feel the need to bring at least this one.
I also found probably three dozen goodie bags that I had forgotten about from a time when my roommate and I attended a special Target event for welcoming back UT students. The bags included coupons (expired because we never went to Target after that), mini Spongebob Squarepants hand sanitizer, mini Neutrogena moisturizer, Emergen-C pink lemonade packets, and mini Neutrogena men's face wash. I organized everything (including some other freebies I had picked up over the course of my year at school), and made goodie bags of toiletries for my new host family! Eliana is getting the moisturizer, a tube of mascara (I don't even know if she wears mascara, but it's the thought that counts), and a box of floss, and Shmu is getting the men's face wash, a packet of mini Axe products, and some floss. Knowing that some of these things are more expensive in Israel, I figured they will be delighted! Altogether, it's probably at LEAST six month's worth of moisturizer and face wash. I'm keeping the hand sanitizer and Emergen-C for myself because I'll be adjusting and I really don't want to get sick! I also found an extra toothbrush, a FULL tube of my favorite toothpaste, extra floss, and first aid kits galore! I am so glad I was so proactive in my freshman year without ever needed all that crap. Now, Eliana, Shmu, and I can enjoy these FREE luxuries for a little while. I never thought I would be so excited to be the owner of three dozen hand sanitizers and a tube of toothpaste.
I also found loose leaf paper, composition books, and binders for my sister to use! Her first full day of high school is winding down as we speak. I'm keeping the sticky notes and flashcards for ulpan.
I also found a messenger bag from Tzanchanim (paratroopers) that a friend had given my dad, who passed it down to me. I'll put that in the attic as I'm going to a place where I don't want to be walking around with vintage wings. I'll have my own bags and pins and shirts when I join the IDF to show off!
Considering it's only 3 PM (or 15:00) and I haven't yet left the house, it's been a crazy day. Ana (aforementioned best friend) is doing her summer reading on the couch while I write this. Our A/C is broken so the doors and windows are open and you can hear birds chirping. Luckily, as a lifeguard, I'm used to heat which will benefit me when I'm in Israel, but my mom is miserable! We're getting it fixed today, thankfully.
Every day gets harder and harder as there are more people to whom I need to say goodbye. At least Ana doesn't start school until Wednesday, and even then she's still in high school so we'll see each other. I'm making friends at Vanderbilt, which is lucky! A lot of them spend time abroad, usually in Europe, so they're already talking about "swinging by" Israel to see me. The Aliyah/IDF survival blog I'm reading now was written by a guy from London. It's kind of frustrating because his family comes to Israel all the time. Being from not just the US, but from Nashville, TN, my family will be coming once a year, if I'm lucky. It's hard to imagine what that will be like. If he had such a hard time when he first moved (2009), I have to prepare myself for the worst. I'm going to miss my family so much...glad I have the time that I do now.

Exciting News

I was going to wait until later to talk about my packing, but this is SO much more exciting!!!!! I'm on a lunch break and checked my email and within the last 10 minutes I have received confirmation that I have been recommended for an Aliyah visa by the Israeli Consulate! Luckily my mom is home for the morning so I could show her. We cried for a bit and she told me how proud she is. We both can't believe that it's really happening! I now have more paperwork to do, so it's back to grind for me (once I actually eat!!!).

ONE STEP CLOSER!

College vs. Israel

The most common assumption when I first mention I'm not going back to school is that I'm pregnant. Honestly, I don't know why. I don't have a boyfriend (haven't had one in a while, actually), and most of these people are ones that work in the same building as me so they know I'm at the JCC all. the. time. and I have gone out a total of three times this whole summer (twice in the past week) with the exception of staff outings, dinners with my dad, and nights spent at my best friend's house. They simultaneously know my life but think they don't at all because teenagers aren't supposed to be boring like they [adults] are. But when you're preparing to move to the other side of the world, you take on the kind of life that is the best form of birth control. I spent two months working, working out, doing research, and paperwork. But I digress, I've already posted about this, I just needed to rant about the pregnancy assumptions (am I getting fat?) and now I'll get back to talking about school.
I seriously loved being at UTK. I had lots of friends, an amazing roommate, and a good support network. Yes, I kind of screwed up my grades, but my advisor told me not to worry. Everyone has that semester or two that sets them back a bit. I wasn't worried. I knew I would eventually find a major, work hard, graduate, and get a job in my field. Just like everyone else. But if there's one thing I have always known about myself is that I'm not like everyone else. I have been told that I am unique, and I like to believe that.
Moving to Israel is beyond being unique, but when you think about it, it's a way of abandoning a mildly interesting life somewhere in Tennessee for a few more years of adventure, only to wind up leading a mildly interesting life somewhere in Israel. It's not about the adventure, but it does have quite an appeal. I've explained my true reasons for making Aliyah, but now I get to talk about some of the perks (and downfalls, we'll get to those) of moving to Israel (the adventures, the new friends, the new families, the stories).

P.S. I said on Facebook that yesterday I would produce a bucket-list of things to do before leaving the States, but I've been slacking. I'll make it this week and post it here.

P.P.S. Yes, these posts are much shorter than the first. I haven't gotten too many comments/questions yet, so send them in and I'll have more juicy material :)

P.P.P.S. I start moving things into my mom's attic and sorting through all my belongings tomorrow! Now THAT will be juicy! I'll take pics of all the crazy stuff I find and y'all can laugh at my weird childhood belongings.

Update: I realize I could talk some more about college vs. Israel, but I'm pretty sleepy (yes, I get sleepy at 11 pm when I closed at work), so bear with me. Maybe I'll get my act together and update it properly.

תרגום לעברית

אם אתם רוצים לקרוא את הבלוג את זה בעברית, יופי. אבל יש בגוגל בעיה שהם לא יכולים לתרגם בנקבה.

"Promise me you won't die!!"

That's what I've been hearing lately. A lot. Now, I realize being a combat medic will put me in some dangerous situations. Hell, being in the IDF at all will put me at risk no matter what. But as a civilian (which will be my status for at least the first six months), I'm more likely to die in a car accident than in a terrorist attack (and I won't own a car, so I'm good!). Going back to how I want to serve in the IDF, I want to serve as a combat medic in Home Front Command for the Search and Rescue (SAR) unit. That would basically put me in the Israeli National Guard. Israel is known not only for the IDF as a whole, but specifically for its SAR unit and its medical corps. The other day, IDF medical corps had a competition to see who would win in a race of mind, body, and skill! The medical corps, along with SAR, is known for its work in disaster areas around the world, most recently in Haiti 2010, setting up one of the world's largest temporary field hospitals recorded with equipment that is standard in a first-world country hospital. Here are some links if you are interested in the kind of international humanitarian aid in which SAR and the medical corps pride themselves:
Rescuing Man from Collapsed Building
A Look into the Field Hospital
Other Hospitals Turn to IDF Field Hospital in Haiti
More Articles on Israeli Involvement in Haiti
And here is the full official description of the operation.

What I want to do as a soldier in the IDF is help save lives. My goal is to serve my new country through a humanitarian approach while staying safe for the sake of myself and my friends/family back in the States. If I don't get the medic job, there are plenty other things I can do in the IDF to accomplish this goal!

**UT folks: The orange beret of HFC is a happy coincidence!**

The Hardest Secret to Keep

My aliyah process has been extremely unique. I made my decision in early June, started the process mid-June, and planned to be in Israel by August or September. Most people take at least six months, including a pilot trip to make sure that they are making the right decision. In my decision to get everything done in two and a half or three months, I became obsessed. Most days all I did was work out, work, do paperwork, eat, and sleep. I couldn't talk to most people about it in case anything went wrong. I alienated my friends from college that I swore to keep in touch with because it broke my heart I wouldn't see them again and they had no idea. I spoke to my mom, my dad, my best friend, and the occasional coworker (what did they care? I wasn't going to see them again anyway if I went to school). I went back and forth on a lot of things regarding army prep, ulpan, where to stay after Petach Tikva, and so on. Every program sounded better than the last, and, as you can see, I still don't know exactly where I'm going for ulpan, but at least I'm down to a couple options. A few days ago I decided to officially tell my boss to keep me on through September 25th (she was ecstatic, and so is my bank account!) and leave on the October 7 flight. It was very sudden that I made this decision to push back my date, but I don't regret it at all, just like my decision to make aliyah in record time. I now all of a sudden have time to hang out with friends and enjoy nights out before THEY leave for college. I don't have to jam-pack my weeks with calculating how many dinners I spend with each parent to make sure I am using my time with my family wisely. I will have time to pack up my life, both material and interpersonal, and make sure my aliyah is as smooth as it can possibly go. Now, you may be screaming, "But October is also REALLY SOON!" Yes, from now. From June, not so much. In two or three weeks, I will be cleared for aliyah and I will have completed absolutely everything I need for the Jewish Agency and Nefesh B'Nefesh (they truly make it easy compared to the alternative). I needed to make sure I was going and when before I told everyone, as I have a tendency to make wild decisions and change my mind before following through. I needed to make sure I was dedicated to leaving NOW. I realize a lot of my friends are leaving any day now for school, and once school starts my company will be high schoolers and Vandy students (not that I'm complaining), but it's not just about friends. I mentioned in my earlier post that my dad is sick, so I'm happy to have more time with him (we don't know how serious it is this time, but he's still my dad!). I'm having dinner with him and both my siblings tonight! My sister started high school TODAY so I can't wait to see how that went. Hopefully my staying longer will make things easier for her. She was very nervous last night and this morning, so I can't wait to be big sister for the next two months to help her gain confidence and give me all the juicy gossip! And, of course, my mom is happy that we have more time together. We even went on a date the other night, which was so much fun! The closer the date comes, the more important family becomes. I hope all of them can come to the airport in October to see me off.

Aliyah Becomes FBO (Facebook Official)!

Today I announced to the world (aka Facebook) that I am making aliyah in two months. My mom wants me to keep a blog so she can continue reading my diary even after I've moved to the other side of the planet (JUST KIDDING, IMMA), but I figure this is the best way for my friends and family back in the States to keep up with what is going on in my life after I'm gone (goodness, I sound like I'm dying). Knowing the people I am closest to, I would have to tell every single story exactly one gazillion times if I didn't broadcast my life on the internet.

FAQ about my aliyah process (TL;DR's included):

[Update: TL;DR = Too Long; Didn't Read]

1. WHY?!?!?!?!?

Answer: This is going to be a long one. I was brought up in a fairly religious home (kosher, kept holidays and shabbat, went to synagogue every week, USY, Hebrew School, Jewish Day School...yeah, you could say Judaism was my life). Part of being a Jew in the US is finding your niche. For most people it's connecting with the Jewishness part (experimenting with kashrut, finding the synagogue that works for you, keeping family traditions, etc.), but I always struggled with religion. Yes, I will admit that in the 4th grade I claimed I wanted to be a rabbi, but here's why: I didn't know anything else. I thought that if you were a rabbi, God automatically knew and decided you were chosen and helped you get through everything. I liked praying because it was part of my daily routine at school and I liked the tunes. I thought if I prayed hard enough, I would find God. But I didn't. When I realized this, I realized that if I can't find God, then God isn't real. I'm a very hands-on person and I need facts, proof, and science, which led me to continue keeping traditions with my family because who needs more proof than the Shabbat dinner that happens every Friday night without fail? Even when my parents got divorced and the shabbat dinners got more and more confusing, the thing that remained constant was Israel. Religion is so confusing no matter what you believe or don't believe, but learning about a foreign country alongside your own from age 5 can create some attachments. I learned about US and Israeli history, governments, and why we should love both countries. We celebrated both independence days, all days honoring US and Israeli vets, and days remembering all fallen soldiers. I learned to respect and love both countries. We were told that if we ever needed a place to go, Israel is happy to be home to us. We were never forced, we weren't necessarily brainwashed (maybe a little), and none of us were realistically expected to make aliyah, but to simply visit at least once in our lifetimes. Flash back to my first semester of college, tensions are rising (again) because Hamas is still shooting rockets into Sderot and I've just lost a friend over an intense moral argument. That's when I knew. I was laying in my lofted bed in my dorm room, confiding in my roommate that I've only known a month or two that I plan on moving to Israel within the next few years. Skip ahead to my trip with Birthright Israel Experience, and I've made my decision to leave school and make aliyah, all before my 20th birthday in October in order to be included in the draft.

TL;DR: It was a natural progression of my upbringing.

2. Where will you be living?

Answer: The plan is to start in Petach Tikva (outside of Tel Aviv) with my long-time friend and her husband (she also has a blog!), but then I will be going to ulpan (intensive Hebrew training) on a kibbutz (google that one). After my Hebrew is good enough, I will tell the military I'm ready to be drafted. Hopefully I'll be a combat medic (preferably for Home Front Command Search and Rescue), which will give me one year total of training (basic and medic combined) and three years of service. If not, I'll have two years of service plus whatever training is necessary for the job. After that, I'll get a job and go to university to get a degree! Boring adult life begins for Shirit, but in Israel :)

TL;DR: A little bit of everywhere, starting with Petach Tikva.

3. Do you even speak Hebrew?

Answer: Some, enough to get by. But not enough to get the medic job...yet! I also read and write Hebrew. My biggest problem is that everyone speaks so FAST! So if you're Israeli and reading this, I would love it if you made me speak Hebrew, but speak slowly with me!

4. What are you going to do there? Like, do they use toothpaste and stuff?

Answer: Please. I'm not moving to a third world country. People don't ride camels to get to work and they definitely use toothpaste! Israel is an extremely modern country. Tel Aviv is known to show glimpses of fashion trends before they hit New York, even! One thing I will have to get used to is the public transportation. Coming from Nashville, TN, I'm not used to having a decent public transportation system to speak of, so I have a lot to learn in a country that is user-friendly!

5. Are you going to still be a US citizen?

Answer: Yes! I will have dual citizenship. I could technically go to the Embassy and renounce my US citizenship if I wanted, but that would be dumb.

6. How is your family taking it?

Answer: Everyone is different. My brother is ecstatic, as I'm doing what he didn't have the cohones to do when he had the chance. As soon as he pays off his student loans, I'll bet anything he's gonna be right behind me! My sister is extremely frustrated. She starts high school tomorrow and will only have her big sister's help for another two months before we'll both be addicted to Facetiming at weird hours to make up for the time difference. We've gotten each other through some tough stuff (I'm going to try not to curse on this page, we'll see how long it lasts), but this tough thing in particular is our separation. She'll be able to visit with my dad at some point, I think. My dad is very happy for me, as now he has a REALLY good reason to come with his wife on her yearly/bi-yearly trips (her sons live in Jerusalem). The concern is that his cancer came back a couple weeks ago and if anything happens it will be very hard to be on the other side of the world. And there's my mom. She and I have a very special bond because there have been times when we only had each other to talk to and to depend on. She is also very happy and very proud of me, but there is more sadness because at this point, we don't know how often she will be able to afford to come visit. Fortunately, we came to an agreement that she would buy my old iPod touch (4th generation) and learn how to use Facetime and iMessage.

You don't TL;DR family.

7. Do you have family there?

Answer: Technically, no. But the wonderful thing about Israel is that everyone is so hospitable that I already have several members of my surrogate family all across the country, including a "mom" approved by my biological mom!

8. How can you leave your friends?

Answer: It's going to be very hard. Telling some of my closer out-of-town friends via Skype before telling the internet resulted in some tears and awkward virtual goodbyes. My best friend has already decided she'll be at the airport to see me off to Newark with my family, even if she has to skip class. A few people have told me they'll be doing the same in a few years (but who knows?). I'll be spending a lot of time with the locals as much as possible, and might be making a trip to Knoxville to see my friends from school.

I hope this clears some things up for y'all, and remember I still have nine weeks in Nashville, savoring every hipster and country music star I can take in. Hit me up if you're in town so we can 'murica it up!!