My Father's Passing

It is much too difficult for me to write a full post today. My father passed away this Saturday, on Shabbat. I am currently in Nashville and will attend the funeral today. I am staying for shiva (seven day deep mourning period) and then will return to the kibbutz. Here is the obituary my stepmother wrote:
Dan Pankowsky, 3 January 1956-25 January 2014
Thank you all for your support. I will take a break from updating the blog until the end of the shloshim (thirty day secondary mourning period).


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A Quick Explanation

So a couple of days ago I was going over my past blogs and I noticed something important. I mentioned on several occasions that I can't wait to show this person and that school my IDF uniform, and I want to set the record straight.
For those of you who know me, I used to be a huge pacifist. I still strongly believe in the power of peace and the beauty of it. But, sadly, we do not live in a world that is filled with peace. And now I live in a country that is in a perpetual state of war. In order to ensure that civilians can at least go about their days and sleep soundly at night, it is imperative to keep a constant flow of able bodied soldiers to protect our borders and cities. I firmly believe that every person currently serving in the IDF has an important job. Sometimes it might be boring, and many have desk jobs with mundane assignments. But in the end, everything is dependent on each other. From accounting to counseling, parachute folders to pilots, everything counts. When I serve, I want to represent the State of Israel as much as possible. I want to show that a random girl from Nashville can do whatever job I end up with, and do it well. It's less about, "ooh look at my badass uniform" and more about the way people perceive a soldier in uniform. If I do become a paramedic, I want my high school biology teacher to be able to see with her own eyes the medic pin. I want kids from Akiva to look at me and say, "I want to help Israel, too." I want my family to see the beret I earned at a ceremony they might have missed.
It's not about the uniform itself. It's about what it represents, that I earned it and that I want to protect Israel and what it stands for. And as I might not even be allowed to take my uniform to Nashville, then I will still have with me the ideals that come with being an ambassador to Israel. I will have stories, photos, and more. I want to spread among all the people I know a taste of what it's like to be proud of Israel through being proud of me.
And yes, I have all these great plans of medical corps, maybe navy or first response teams or whatever, but in the end, no matter what my job is or where, I will still be serving Israel and doing something to contribute to its survival. And that's the most important thing of all.


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Bruchim HaBa'im LaRakefet (Welcome to Rakefet)

Word of the day:

נזלת

Nazelet

Snot/booger/a runny nose

This was the first word I learned last Wednesday on my first day working in the gan (kindergarten). Clearly, it's not the most glamorous or the easiest job, but it's one of the most rewarding and unique jobs. I've worked with children on many different playing fields for many years, but never more than a night here and there of babysitting with two year-olds, and now I am one-fourth responsible three days a week for fifteen of them. I absolutely love it, but it can be very hard when their vocabulary exceeds mine. All the kids in Rakefet (the name of our classroom) are so adorable! We take them on a daily tiyul (trip/walk) around the kibbutz, and they always make a funny sound when they run and fall over a lot. These tiyulim are actually really helpful to me. A kibbutz tiyul means I am learning about the kibbutz, different shortcuts, and seeing the relationship a kibbutz builds (while one kid from our class is saying hi to his grandma, one of the teachers has a chance to say hi to her daughter who is also on a tiyul). This is all most of the kids have ever known (a few parents from the outside pay to have their kids in our gan), but for me, it is completely new and so incredibly special.

Tiyul in the wadi (empty because of no rain)

The amazing thing about kibbutz life is that since everyone lives, eats, and works in the same area, I have met some of my student's parents outside of the classroom just by walking by the playground, going to Shabbat dinner, or having a picnic on the lawn. Also, the ulpan house is right in the center of the kibbutz. It takes less than one minute to walk from our house to the gan, the dining hall, the ulpan office, and the mercolit (food store on the kibbutz). Even more places are a two minute walk, and it's just the strangest thing for me to be able to roll out of bed, get dressed, and be in the gan with a coffee in hand in under five minutes. So far, I've been the medic and tour guide for many people here! While moving or building cabinets, two different guys have gotten pretty serious cuts, but I have the biggest and most versatile first aid kit and am always the first to respond (come on, it's in my nature!). And like I said before, walking around the gan really gives me an advantage with shortcuts. Until Friday, we were all walking all the way around the dining hall to get to the kol-bo (convenience store), but then the rakefet (my class's name) kum kum (electric kettle) broke so we integrated it into our tiyul. Apparently we can just cut through the playground!

Some of us went on a short hike on Shabbat and this was a small portion of the view 

There are hibiscus flowers all over the kibbutz

Yagur is so beautiful. We are right at the bottom of the Galil mountains (close enough to climb them whenever we like), and it reminds me so much of Tennessee. I feel so at home here, not just because of that, but also the atmosphere. People are so kind and truly want to help us learn Hebrew and integrate into Israeli society. One of my coworkers in Rakefet told me that she had a discussion with Ari, the ulpan housemother (his offical title), and that I seem like a good person who wants to do well here. She told me to ask if I need anything, to just ask because I am part of their family now!

I've made a lot of friends here, in the ulpan and in the kibbutz. My roommate arrived Thursday. She is a tourist (just what we call people who did not make aliyah) from France, which is really cool, and she is also one of the youngest on the program so far. My closest friend on the program is an olah chadashah from Manhattan who is on her second kibbutz ulpan, so she really knows what she's doing. We have representatives from these countries (so far, and if my count is right):

USA- 11

Canada- 3

Uruguay- 2

Russia- 1

Ukraine- 5
Uzbekistan- 2

France- 5

England- 1

Holland- 2
Venezuela-1
Taiwan- 1
Albania- 1

In the ulpan office, a mural of all the countries that have been represented in the program

It's so cool to meet all these different people from so many cultures. Sometimes (like with the Russian speakers) there is a difficult language barrier, but we've learned to use Google Translate and charades to communicate! We are all trying to be friends, so all the time we are hanging out on the benches and table in front of the building, even when it's cold. Yesterday, a guy from France finally got his Teudat Zehut, making his aliyah official, so we toasted him at dinner. A couple of people, after being here for a bit of time, have decided to make aliyah during or after the ulpan.

The refet (dairy farm) provides milk for cheese that is made on the kibbutz

Yesterday we officially started classes. Since I am in gimel (yep, I did it!), I had work yesterday and today was my first day of class. It is already really challenging, but with enough effort I'll be able to be okay. In our class, we have six people from the ulpan, two from the Russian Beit Rishon (first home) on the kibbutz, and one woman who is commuting from another kibbutz. We all have our strengths and weaknesses (my vocabulary is lacking but I am really good at grammar), so we are helping each other.

I try to talk to both of my parents every day, but sometimes I end up switching off days. I can't believe how strong a relationship I have with both of them right now. It is so important to me that I talk to each of them at least every other day (even if we're just saying hi), but I really love that I can talk to both of them about anything. Being in this new space where I am starting fresh and don't know a whole lot of people, it's nice to hear familiar voices (and sometimes see familiar faces) and be able to tell them about all these things I'm experiencing and hearing about their lives. Last Tuesday was my brother's birthday, and I got a bunch of people to sing to him. Friday was my dad's birthday and I walked to the gan and, when he was the only one awake in the house, I sang just for him. After a while, Nathan woke up and we all got on FaceTime and I showed them a bit around the kibbutz. It was such a treat for Shabbat! Yesterday, I got to talk to my sister for an hour which was fantastic. It's so hard being away from my family in this hard time, but fortunately I have a little help. Don't tell Usdi or Waya, but I've found another dog! A friend from the kibbutz lets me hang out with his dog, Sally, and even asked me to walk her yesterday. She's so sweet and cuddly!

Also, in regards to army, there are people coming to help us figure out how to begin or continue our process. If I write my letter to relinquish my year of grace soon, I will be able to be drafted in August just like I planned! I will probably have to go to Mikve Alon (the ulpan base), but it will be really helpful and I learned it won't stop me from being a paramedic.
Everything is falling into place here, y'all.

Love,
From Kibbutz Yagur,
Shirit