Sof Maslul/Sadir!

Shabbat shalom! I'm at home on the kibbutz, ready to go back to my northern base tomorrow. I'll catch you up, but first here's some photos left over from the imun mitkadem:

When we got back from regila, we had a ton of final tests, including a navigation course. Each of us received a location to find and a mission to fulfill, as the commander of the operation. After seven operations, the sun was rising and the other commanders and officers arrived to greet us. Us trainees raised the sandbag-filled stretcher together and they read a famous quote about what it means to be a combat soldier. We put it down, stand in formation. I was hoping to get the battalion fighter's pin from my commander, but he immediately went to another person in my tzevet. I was a little sad, but still proud to be getting the pin. And then I see the mashad walk over to me and I get a huge smile on my face. She is also an American lone soldier and my respect for her is endless. I couldn't believe it!

About twelve hours later, I was standing under the huppah while my stepbrother got married. My stepmom let me wear my dad's wedding ring for the night, which was so special. Twelve hours later, I ordered my Israeli passport at the Nefesh B'nefesh Yom Sidurim and saw a ton of my friends from Michve Alon. Let's just say it was a crazy week!!

The next week we had a goodbye party/erev tzevet. We made toast, danced, did impressions of the commanders, they gave out superlatives, and traded stories from the last four months.

When we returned to Shivta for our sof maslul ceremony, we also had an erev gdud the night before. The big day came, and my brother and a few friends also showed up to cheer me on. We marched, sang hatikva, and the commanders pulled off the tape on our pins. The three of us in my tzevet stood in a row together, but when it was my turn my commander skipped me. He came back, pulled off the tape, and said, "lo mash'hu" [not good enough]. He took it off, and then traded it for his! He told me he received it from his mefakedet, who got it from her mafkatz, and later remembered that he got it from his mefaked back in March '07 or something like that. It has special gold stars, even! I couldn't be more proud of my pins, and all the meaning they hold, the hard work I put in to receive them, and the incredible commanders I received them from, a symbol of trust to carry on these great legacies.

So we've moved on from our training, some have gone to commander's school, or the driving course, but I'm going to spend a few months improving my Hebrew, treating my ankle, and enjoying regular service. This week, on the eve of Purim, I and some of my friends from my draft moved to a base in southern Ramat HaGolan. It's beautiful here, and we arrived just in time for spring. We can see the Kineret and the still-snowy Hermon from the hills. It's a different system and a different area so there's a lot to learn, but we have fun learning together. I really miss my old tzevet, but it's easy to stay in touch being in such a small battalion, and there are four of us who moved together which helps with the transition. The nicest part is being only an hour and a half from Yagur!

That's it for now, just waiting five more days until my mom and sister come to visit!!!!!!!!

Frustratinggggg

I'm trying to write a blog and the pictures won't load so just wait one more week so I can post from my laptop and it will all be worth it!! :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I Promised Pictures! (Dear Mom, I'm Alive. Love, Shirit)

WE ARE SO CLOSE!

Those of us in Totchanim Aug '14 are less than three weeks away from the end of our maslul (training period). Most of the battalions have finished months ago, but the actual pin ceremony is in a couple weeks. My tzevet started final exams last week, when half had a regila (week off), and this week we are on a regila while the other half takes their first exam. I didn't know most of the material at the start of the week, but turns out I got a 90! I studied almost every waking minute. I just hope it's enough to pass the upcoming exams. But the ceremony is one of the coolest ceremonies in the IDF, where we get to show off our stuff.

It's been a long time coming (well, not as long as special forces training). We've been through so much. Between six+ weeks of shetach, four weeks of shmirah, six masaot, at least four endurance nights, countless hours of classes and tests, a kumta, and a pin, we have been through a lot. But we are almost done, some of us on to commander's school, medic's course, or (like me) regular service (for now). It's going to be bittersweet but fortunately at least within my gdud people are tight and it isn't hard to keep in touch. The hard part is not knowing what happens next. None of us have a clue about what will happen come March, when today's tironim start imun mitkadem, and we get new assignments. I hope it's not too crazy. From what I heard about other tzevets, I'll be happy basically anywhere I go, or if I end up staying with this group. It doesn't matter all that much, I've got friends in almost every tzevet and have met people from all over that I think are cool. And every place offers its own learning experience, so no matter what I do I will be prepared for whatever my next step will be. But first, I need to go to a wedding, see my mom and sister, and fly home!! And only then can we talk about courses for August. Stay tuned, my friends.

Well, I'm out of town for the weekend, so that's all the time I've got, but here! Pictures! (as promised)

Machane Yehuda

Hanukkah with commander's school trainees

Just casually carrying a hammer on the public bus

It started to get cold

And then got REALLY cold

Benny Gantz

So not interested 

So sweaty, so worth it-if you can see than little pin

Gun delivery service

National Space Week with the siblings

Milky Way bubbles

This is the face of a girl leaving for regila

A Little New Year Rant

I know I've been horrible at keeping up with these posts.

I get off every other weekend (sometimes more), and I still can't seem to manage to write a little something every time I come home, and I know why.

This past year (yes, exactly a year today) has been the hardest year of my life. Between my dad dying, joining the army, and all the joys that come with those particular activities, I have lost touch with important people in my life, including myself. I try not to make this blog too personal so readers around the world can apply my journey and all its mishaps to their lives. But what is a blog if not a little personal? As of late, my personality is dealing with the reality of somehow living an entire year without my father. Over the course of this year, I have become disconnected, antisocial, unhappy. And I know that is because I am grieving, but I miss the old me, the Shirit that loved parties, preferred a movie night with friends to going to sleep early, never avoided friends, and would have kept up her blog.

Now that a year has passed, I am learning to be happy in this new world of mine. I'm going to start with getting back in touch, going out more (to actually make friends and create meaningful relationships), and, of course, post twice a month. I'm almost done with my training, so it should be much less stressful to be a regular-service soldier.

Since my last post, I have made new friends and strengthened relationships with existing ones. I have studied hard, to the point that, depending on the subject, I can correct even a commander (respectfully). I have obtained insoles and an ankle brace and have started at-home physical therapy. I have proven my worth in this battalion on several occasions. I have celebrated my dad's birthday. I have gotten back in touch with my siblings to form relationships stronger than ever. I have made it onto the Nefesh B'Nefesh Facebook page with a quote from a text that was only supposed to be a small thank you for the generous donors for the backpack (!!). I have neglected to elaborate for my dear readers the whole process I had to go through to get the original backpack to my ownership. I have read an entire book in Hebrew before the end of 2014 (a kid's chapter book, but it counts). I have learned how to teach a class in Hebrew. I have given a number of classes, one semi-successful, a few very successful. I ran and jumped and climbed. I earned the battalion pin. I got sent home early on a couple of occasions based on performance (and once on illness). I met the Chief of General Staff of the IDF (ramatkal), Benny Gantz [at a barbecue for lone soldiers that no one knew he was showing up to, so we were all somewhat tipsy and he made a joke about drinking what he thought was just orange juice]. I have seen friends from the US (thanks, Birthright) that I haven't seen in almost a decade. I have put in my requests for my vacation with my mom and sister coming to Israel and for my trip home. I worked on my Hebrew. I work on my Hebrew. I will work on my Hebrew. I am very possibly getting a Hebrew tutor, after months of begging. I guard, guard, guard, and when I'm done guarding, I guard some more. I see my beautiful country get threatened by terrorists and its citizens stabbed and I ride the bus with caution and always walk with one hand on my gun. I try and figure out if I would be that soldier that would advance in the case there was a terrorist shooting at me, if I knew that if I advance those citizens get to live but maybe I don't, do I hide under a rock and try to shoot from there. I think about if someone decides to start stabbing people on the bus I am riding, will I try to stop him. I learn the material, I teach the class, I practice the Hebrew, I neglect the blog, I make the friends, I strengthen my ankle, I guard the land, I do the running and jumping and climbing (and the earning), and I do the thinking and all of a sudden it's back, every detail and all those feelings of why I'm here. It hits at the funniest moments, like we'll be making popcorn on Shabbat to entertain the people guarding, and I'll think, "I am so lucky to be here with these people who play silly games because sometimes it's more fun here than anywhere else." And I know, all you soldiers reading this are going to go crazy because how the hell can it be more fun on base? And might I remind you that we have all felt it, if you notice, how comfortable we are with our friends on base. What better friend than the one you live with for weeks at a time, learn the same stuff, fight for the same country, have the same inside jokes, and know has your back in an emergency no matter what crap is going on? And not everyone appreciates it. But all you post-army folks out there, who is it you stay in touch with? And I know it's not just the IDF, but we have this special bond in that most of the world hates Israel and sometimes there's nothing to do but laugh and just remember WHY they draft us and need us for 2-3 years, WHY we must scream ad ma-ty, WHY we guard for more hours than any phone app can track. So we can survive. So we can defend this great nation and all its people. It's bigger than the Jews, baby. I've got a Christian Korean guy in my tzevet who has more motivation to be in the army than many Israelis. And he's not alone. I mean, it's not often a nice Southern girl shows up to the Bakum, babbling about being a combat soldier.

I'm here for a reason, and for all of you out there even just sitting there at home, reading this, if your home is in Israel (or soon to be), then there is a reason for you, too. The more the merrier.

I'll post pictures next time around.

Imun Mitkadem (Advanced Training)

In the end, I was only allowed one kilometer of the masa kumta, but we ended up waiting one kilometer in the opposite direction from where they were actually marching, so I didn't get to participate at all. I was extremely frustrated about this, but in a moment I'll explain why it's better this way. All in all, it was still a really fun day with a ton of friends and my brother who came to see me.

Ayelet wanted a picture with it on

Even my brother made it

And that was it! We had our new, turquoise berets and had a week off to celebrate (regila). I was planning on doing some traveling and visiting friends I hadn't seen in a while, but I got the flu, which was a bummer but turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The day I wanted to go to Tel Aviv a soldier was stabbed at the HaShalom train station, and I was glad to stay home. I suppose times will never be easy here safety wise, especially in an IDF uniform. 

At the end of that week, I went up to the 611 home base to get new gear, a new gun, a new base, and a new rank. Quite unceremoniously, we received forms to fill out that had "rabat" (corporal) written in front of our names, and we actually thought it was a mistake. They weren't even going to tell us because in kravi you're basically nothing until you are at the rank of a sergeant (which you either get from commander's course or a lot of time), but it's still fun that we aren't privates anymore. We also have so much more gear right now because it's wintertime. There's four different kinds of coats! We had to learn how to wear all of them (the fleece with the gdud's symbol we aren't allowed to wear yet because it is considered a privilege and not allowed for anyone in a kind of course), and how to pack everything into the kitbag. Already fairly late at night, most of us traveled down to the south. My base was the first stop, right outside of Beer Sheva. We're a nice tight tzevet, and I came down with my best friend. Our imun mitkadem (advanced training) started off pretty slow, just reviewing stuff from tironut. There was also a week for each half of the tzevet to go to a FIDF-sponsored vacation (nofesh)!

I was in the second week (thank you Toronto Chapter!), and it was honestly like a make-up for my flu-riddled regila. I got to meet people from all over the gdud, all different jobs, combat soldiers, technicians, drivers, the works! They arranged a number of activities, parties, and shows just for us to enjoy. We played bingo (as lame as that sounds), watched a guy balance a chair on his forehead, and enjoyed stand-up. There was also a TV program to honor combat soldiers who were in the operation, in Tzuk Eitan, and those of us from Aug 14 felt slightly uncomfortable but still proud. They mostly wanted to focus on the Hirnikim, which is completely understandable, but also put us directly on the far end of the room under this huge light. The program is very well put together and moving, but that big light you see when they pan the room is where we are sitting, if you are looking for us. I got to learn about Israeli singers, because I didn't even know who Moshe Peretz is, and my first time hearing him was live! It rained the entire week, but we had fun bundling up to go to meals and parties and then running back inside to dry off, bond, and watch movies playing on TV. I had closed two straight weekends, so I didn't have that many civilian clothes with me except a couple pairs of jeans and workout clothes. My friends and I got creative. Some girls had friends/family bring them clothes, so I borrowed sweaters and shirts, wore my jeans or running tights, and folded socks over my army boots to try and make them look somewhat unlike army boots. The nice thing about it is that the boots are fairly water resistant so I had a pretty easy time walking around!

I had requested to take off Thanksgiving, so I closed the Shabbat before nofesh, and got to go straight home from there. I spent Thursday with my brother and sleeping, and then Friday was like real Thanksgiving (apparently I am not the only one, but most American Israelis end up celebrating Thanksgiving the day after...kind of like how Jews in the Diaspora celebrate two nights of Passover!). I saw a football game (not soccer!! Go Haifa Underdogs!!), spent the day being lazy, and at night went to a fairly large Thanksgiving meal some of the American kibbutznikim prepare annually. It was a huge amount of fun and I can't believe how much I ate. It was a very nice distraction, considering Thanksgiving was the last time I saw my dad eating real food and being able to participate some (and then a few days later was the anniversary of when I last saw him in person). I tried very hard not to focus on how sad I was, but on having an incredible time and being in the moment. I know that is what he wants me to do, and to enjoy the amazing people I have in my life who help me in all sorts of crazy situations, just like family. On that note, I can't believe I'm coming up on the anniversary of his death and am trying to decide if I want to take the day off from the army. I know that if I decide to stay my tzevet will be there to support me, but I don't think I could handle having to stick to whatever schedule is planned. 

When I got back from Thanksgiving, I had two intense weeks of studying, taking tests, imunim (technical practices), and all sorts of crazy stuff. I failed a bunch of tests because there was a hazardous combination of me not fully understanding questions and the commanders not fully understanding my answers. So this week we arranged that I would take the test by myself, and then we would go over it together to make sure everyone was on the same page. I ended up getting a 96!! (proving what we already knew--it was the language, not the material I don't know!) It was also just fun in general, we had some visitors and I had my first Israeli sufganiot (jelly donuts for Hanukkah). We have guard shifts all the time, and even during the night I am learning about the system we use, general army stuff, Israeli life, and even had a couple of Hebrew classes with my sergeant. I lost my bag on the bus, and until I got it back from the lost and found, everyone was so generous it was incredible. I had people from all over the country messaging me, offering help/advice and clothes, we had some leftover stuff on base from Tzuk Eitan (socks, shampoo, toothbrush, etc), and I even got help from the gdud (I think the lieutenant colonel, I'm still trying to figure out the English translations on this stuff) to go buy some essentials in case I didn't find it. Fortunately, I did, but nobody will let me return any donations. And that's just how Israel works, which I knew, but I was still left speechless by all the love that I felt by people who wanted to help me. 

Thank you lone soldier center!!! m

And also to the city of Giv'at Shmuel (through Nefesh B'Nefesh) m

I saw the base doctor, and like I said before, it's a good thing I didn't participate in the masa kumta. I finally got a real diagnosis, and it's nothing too pleasant: Achilles tendonitis and plantar fasciitis. This means that I just need to be extra careful and will get treatment for the tendonitis first (plantar fasciitis requires a lot of stretches that you can't do with an injured Achilles). So I'm hopefully going to (finally) start real treatment for that next week, and get back on my feet (literally).

So because I switched with someone for Thanksgiving, they needed to get me back to the regular schedule. I was supposed to close this weekend but someone else came back from course Nativ (learning about Israel, Zionism, holidays, etc.) so they sent me home! And that's it, I am home now and return to base tomorrow for a new week! Hopefully I'll be posting more regularly but still with long breaks in between.

Just another sunny day down south

מצדעים לכם, תודה ללוחמים בצוק איתן

One Year, One Beret

I know it's been a while since I've posted here, but everything is happening at once!
Way back three weeks ago, we were in Jerusalem/Latrun for our education week. In Jerusalem, we hiked the path (approximately) Herzl took when he first visited and decided Israel needed to be the Jewish state, not Uganda. We finished the tour at the Kotel, but at the last minute there was not enough time and we didn't go in. A lot of us were very upset about that, but the commanders didn't budge and made us get on the bus. We traveled to Latrun, a battle site and Tank Corps museum and stayed there for the next few days. First, we learned about the general importance of Israel, the culture of Israel, then the IDF, and so on until we got back to base and had a class with just our commanders on our daily routine. It was nice to have classes with our palga and commanders and officer (even the samal taught a class), and we had some good discussions. One night, we took a tour of the museum, which was very hard. There is a memorial wall of all the tank soldiers that have died in combat, and they had added 17 names that morning from the operation this summer. We separated and sat down with our tzevets to talk about our own personal view of the army, and specifically what it means to us to be combat soldiers, lochemim. Even our mefaked spoke openly about his experience, telling us he was picked to play basketball overseas but decided to draft instead, without telling anyone until it had already happened.

We returned to base for Sukkot and guard duty (the chief officer volunteered us), and I got to sit in my first sukkah in Israel! It rained that day, which put me in shock because I didn't know that it rained in the desert during daytime. But that day was also October 8, one year since my Aliyah! My friend threw a (small) party for me and at dinner my table in the sukkah made a toast.






On Sunday, I had a birthday and the army gave me two presents: an ultrasound for my ankle after a month of waiting, and my tzevet went to spend a few days on a base at which we could end up. It was so much fun, we learned a lot hands on and got to meet and work with people already in the gdud. It was a lot of work, but it made all of us really excited to be a part of this technology.












Traveling on public trans with all our gear

When we left, we were on base for less than a day before going home for sukkot bet. When I got home, my kibbutz mom had a surprise for me from her (and my mom). She took me to lunch and since her brother in law is the manager, we had a spa day at this hotel in Haifa! It was nice to relax and spend some quality time with just her, and it was cool it also came from my mom. That was day one of four at home that holiday/weekend, but the most exciting. I went back to base on Sunday, but only packed a few things because Monday I went to the airport to pick up my brother!!! That's right, he finally made Aliyah, too! I only got a few days, but it was so much fun being with him and helping him out as far as Hebrew and culture goes. I came back to base and we had been volunteered for even more shmirot (for the fourth time!) but it wasn't so bad. That was the second to last Shabbat before the end of tironut, and today is the last (yes we are closing the dreaded 21).






First day dinner!

During the week we had our last classes and study sessions. I passed the half year mark of being in the army this week! Yesterday I was in the kitchen, but today we are getting together to study for our final test tomorrow. Part is written, and the other part is simulations, which I love because it's exactly what we'll be doing and in general is really cool if you do it right.


















Being in the kitchen makes us sleepy and weird, but there's milki so it's worth it.

An update on my ankle: it's not clear if there is a name for what is wrong with it, but if I rest it enough this week I can do a few kilometers of the masa kumta (beret march).
That's about it for now, just wanted to throw out an update before I finish tironut for (twice) and for all!! 5 days til that torqouise!!!

Why I Do What I Do

So we've officially started our specialty training! The technology I have been assigned is extremely confidential so these posts might seem vague or spotty, but it'll work out.

At the best (?) time possible, I have an injury in my ankle. It was a sprain that slowly and surely escalated so being in the classrooms helped a bit. Unfortunately, because of that, I missed a masa right before Rosh Hashanah. Everyone earned their dog tag covers, and I worked in the kitchen instead. It was my first Rosh Hashanah in Israel, and the first night I worked in the kitchen, which was actually a 100% Israeli experience (not only closing base first RH in the army but also kitchen duty). I was there with some friends and made friends with the kitchen workers so parts were really fun.

I'll be making up for this. 

We went back to the schedule, with classes and tests. What this meant for me was a bit more complicated. Getting the help I need is a bit frustrating and a long process, but I've pushed enough that we've got some sort of system. I take the class, remind them I have no idea what is going on, I take the class again privately (which can take as long as the regular class), and then I take the test with someone helping me read (and sometimes type). Or, I skip straight to the private lesson, and then take the test. Because we hadn't figured all this out at the beginning, there were some lessons I was never caught up on or missed completely. As a result, I had to take the tests regardless (and obviously failed). The second week I ended up learning all the material and acing the tests. Because I don't understand the power points, I take notes in my simplified Hebrew to study from later. What ends up happening, ironically, is that sometimes I help the other people in my tzevet study and learn the material.

Since our palga's tzevets are split up by technology, we are with our tzevet 24/7. As a result, we are getting closer every day, and not just us. We spent a lot of time with the samal (he actually personally taught me 1.5 hours' worth of material because everyone else was busy). He played a horrible trick on us. There is this "chocolate flavored" spread that we eat on breaks called choomy. He took an empty Nutella jar, filled it with choomy and simply brought it into the room and gave us a 7 minute break. We were so upset when we opened the jar because even though they look the same, choomy has a distinct smell...a disappointment, but it got eaten anyway.

Another way we have fun is keeping things light. Something called a "pakal" is something that is necessary (which is why push-ups are often referred to as "pakalim"), but the commanders sometimes like to give random stuff to us and tell us it is a pakal and we have to carry it around everywhere. During RH, someone had to carry a pomegranate and tell everyone it was actually an apple. Our tzevet has a mango that we wrote all our names on and the name of our tzevet. We had to tape string onto it and someone even took it home over the weekend to keep in the fridge. I guess these things teach us to take care of stuff, no matter how dumb or silly it seems. But it is still very weird carrying a green mango around base and taking guard shifts, even. Even so, it lets us be a little silly when all day we are inside learning about serious, complicated stuff.

Speaking of, it will be two weeks before we go back to classes! We are in Jerusalem this week, through sukkot, to learn about Israel and the army. We were already in Jerusalem on Thursday, when we did our tour of Har Herzl and Yad Vashem. It was most people's first time on uniform, but for me and Elisheva it was our first time as combat soldiers, which still gives a higher meaning. Har Herzl was very hard. There were so many fresh graves from the operation (including several lone soldiers with whom I had one or two degrees of separation), and my maflag actually had a friend buried there from a few years ago. We were the first visitors for one grave, a veteran of the operation, who had committed suicide a few days earlier. These are the things that come with being a combat soldier. The distance between us and those that died shrinks. That's what makes it so important. If we don't do our jobs, who will? It is a privilege to have the opportunity to just be considered a soldier of the IDF, not to even mention being a lochemet. And that's the feeling they are trying to teach us this week in Jerusalem. We are going to be learning how to be proud to serve in the IDF and then when we return to base for Shabbat we will learn about pride and importance of our technologies. I hope that after this week more people will feel the same way I do, and the other olim do, and the way my friend Tom feels, and the way one of my mefakdot feels. And it's not a feeling of wanting to be a combat soldier because you've always dreamed of being in Golani, it's a feeling of wanting to do the most and give all of yourself to help protect Israel and her citizens. It's a feeling of preserving our country for the Jews around the world for when they are in a tough spot, or muster up enough courage, or visit Jerusalem for the first time and get that rumble, that ache, that desire to make a life where we, as Jews, belong. And to maintain the land for the Jews who, for many valid reasons, will not make a life here, so they can see and visit and love Israel even without being residents. That's what I'm here for. That's why we do what we do, us "crazy" lone soldiers. Why, even though we come here having no family to protect, we say goodbye to our loved ones and join the army across the world. Because, sometimes at the speed of light, and sometimes slow but steady, we build our own families and make new loved ones.

And for real Nutella from said loved ones