30 Days Left of Fun

Ooh man! We have some big news coming around! Today marks 30 days until my draft day, and lots has happened since my last post (per usual).

A few weeks ago, I went down to the South with some friends to see some beautiful flowers. We also stopped by an ostrich farm/restaurant thinking it was a restaurant where we could try some ostrich. Strangely, it wasn't even a restaurant at all (and certainly no tasting of the birds). But it ended up being a really fun weekend road trip!

About a week later, I went to Jerusalem for a brit milah (circumcision) during the week! It was really awesome to experience such an important celebration with friends that I haven't seen in a while. I hadn't seen or even met some of the family since I have been in Israel, so it was really nice to catch up. While I was there, we had discovered that their downstairs neighbor knew my dad when he was in Young Judea in San Antonio, so I got to meet and talk to her for a while. After the brit, some of us took the kids around the city on the bus and train until they all needed a nap and I needed to head home.

My friend Jimmy preferred the puppy to the flowers.

Shlomo HaMelech!

Ron, Shlomo's brother, fast asleep, on the bus

I celebrated my SECOND holiday ever in Israel, Purim. It was definitely strange, though, because the kibbutz celebrates it on the Friday after. In the gan we celebrated the Friday before (oznei haman and mini clowns included), and Sunday evening all the kids had a party. Then, at the end of the week, the adults had their party. Every single person was wearing a costume, and they were pretty clever. It was a huge success!

Dressed-up ulpanistim

Captain Maya and "Hayden Panettiere" /country music singer

In more exciting news, I was invited to a day of testing at Beit HaTzanchan in Ramat Gan last week. I tried to ask around beforehand to find out what it was about and what it was for, but I got basically no information. I traveled almost three hours from Yagur to Ramat Gan, and walked into Beit HaTzanchan 15 minutes early. At exactly ten AM, they called us some thirty girls into an auditorium. We sat down at desks and were told to start with little explanation outside of which packet to start with. I and three other girls asked for and received all our tests in English. The tests included a personal information packet, a personality test where we had to rank hundreds of statements based on how they applied to us, hundreds more true/false personality statements, over 50 statements that we had to complete in 20 minutes, and an interview in between! When I was called for my interview, my interviewer explained to me that these tests were to help the army decide what kind of job I would best be suited for. Basically, they think that each of us would be suitable for a specialty job, which means that those tests could potentially help me get into the paramedic's course! Four hours later, I headed back to Yagur (but not without stopping for some well-deserved ice cream).

My first peek at the Ba'hai Gardens was a bit obstructed by Yaniv

I finally met my new kibbutz family! They are so sweet and have three adorable kids. I've seen them a few times and they really are treating me like family. It's an amazing feeling, to finally have an official adoptive family here in Israel.

Last weekend, some friends and I went to Nahalal, a moshav about half an hour from Yagur. There was a swap/flea market on one of the properties, and we also got a tour of some of the farmland and then a tour of a dairy on another property. It was so cool to see how some of the volunteer huts were built and how things run on the moshav.

One side of the communal building

The walls are built with mud and straw, but incredibly well-insulated

The inside of a volunteer's hut that they built

The outside, plus Tamara

This week, I am going to Tel Aviv on Wednesday for a Lone Soldier army prep day. Then, we have an ulpan trip to Jerusalem, Pesach (Passover), and then a week later I get drafted! It's gonna be one hell of a month, so stay tuned!

Here are my little leitzanim (clowns):

Welcome Back to All

It's strange living in a world without my dad. Fortunately, that is why Jews mourn in the way we do. Those who have never lived in a world without that person (namely, their children) have a longer mourning period than even the mother or father of that person. The next eleven months will be spent learning what it is like to have birthdays, celebrate holidays, accomplish goals, lament failures, and so on without my dad. Today, I take another step in my process by updating this blog. And it's for the best because I have oh so much to tell all of you!

Candid at Nimrod Fortress.
Photo Credit: Maya S.

The day after I arrived in Nashville, the day of my dad's funeral, I woke up around 3 AM with a WhatsApp message from the ulpan office informing me that my tzav rishon (first notice) had arrived. It was such a strange feeling, that life was still going on. That my life would continue at an extraordinarily rapid pace. And, as you will see in this post, it continued to do so with an incontrovertible sense of irony. And, as my dad would have wanted, I have faced it all so far with my best sense of humor.

I was so proud I was tall enough to enter the hot springs at Hamat Gader!

Speaking of humor, I had quite the adventure back to Israel. The day I left Nashville, my mom, sister, and I, made a Costco run on the way to the airport. I very desperately wanted to bring back a nice stash of macaroni and cheese with me. We wound up buying two cases (30 boxes, 12 pounds) of macaroni and cheese for me to carry on the plane. There was a whole mess with the weather and flight delays, so I was relieved when we finally were called to board the plane. While we were boarding, a woman needed to put her bag in the overhead bin but there was no space. The flight attendant came over and asked, "Now, whose macaroni and cheese is this?!?" I raised my hand sheepishly and said it was mine. While she moved it to the opposite bin, she asked if there was no mac and cheese where I live in Philadelphia I said, "No ma'am, and I'm not from Philly." The guy behind me said, "You need to move!" And then they started asking where I live and I told them Israel. That started about three conversations with people in my area of the plane. We were stuck on the Tarmac in Nashville for an extra half hour, so the flight attendant threatened to eat my macaroni! I told her she was welcome to it if she had a way to cook it. The whole flight she and I went back and forth on the topic, which made everyone laugh and the whole mess a bit easier. I had an especially good conversation with the guy next to me about Israel. We ended up talking almost nonstop the whole time we were on the plane. He was the first stranger I told that my dad died and that that was the reason for my visit to the States. He told me about his daughter and how they have a close relationship and it made me sad but when we got off the plane I told him to give an extra big hug to her when he gets home for me.

A quick trip to the Carmel with the kiddos.

So, back in Israel, less than a week after I returned to the country, I reported to Lishkat Giyus (Draft Office) in Haifa. I live-tweeted my experience, as it took about four hours. I was alone and waiting in line for the majority of it. I didn't get any of my scores/ratings except for my medical profile, which was an 82 (good enough to do combat!). I was sure I didn't pass my Hebrew test, but the whole thing was an interesting experience. I was told to expect a draft letter in the next few months with a six month notice. The hardest part was talking to the social worker and explaining my situation as a Lone Soldier, but then also having to talk in detail about my dad's death. Since he wasn't Israeli and didn't die here, I had to write up an outline of his illness and how he died in lieu of a death certificate. Other than that, my tzav rishon experience was pretty average for an immigrant: waiting for hours on end, answering a lot of the same questions, and asking if there is someone who can speak English.

Fooling around on a class break.

Only four days later, I got another letter from the army with my draft date! I was so completely thrown off and excited. The letter said I am to report on April 30th (two and a half months away). Since then, they realized I was extremely close to 20 when I made aliyah, so they gave me three options: keep the April 30 date, draft on December 10 (to keep the year of grace I'm allowed as a new immigrant), or not draft at all. I, of course, decided to keep the April date. So I will be leaving the ulpan a month early, but, not to fear, to draft into the learning base to do a 3 month Hebrew course. Here's a breakdown of how my service is going to look from what I currently know:
April 30th I will go to be processed, get my army ID, uniform, and travel to Mechve Alon (the learning base). There I will spend three months doing the most basic of basic training and learning in another Hebrew class. During that time I will have only two or three weekends I will have to close, so I'll have most weekends off. When I graduate from that, I will be reprocessed as a normal soldier and assigned to a proper unit. Hopefully I will be assigned to the paramedic's course! I've already situated a room for myself in the lone soldier's house at Yagur, so on weekends I'm off I can come here or travel to see friends wherever I like. Right now, the big thing I am doing is trying to find a kibbutz family to adopt me! I've put feelers out with some friends and even talked to one of the parents in my classroom in the hopes they can find me a good connection.

Look how big little Waya is!! Just about as big as Usdi!

All in all, I want to thank everyone for helping me through this time in my life. I'm really looking forward to what lies ahead of me, and I want all of you to be a part of it. Here's to a new chapter.

My Father's Passing

It is much too difficult for me to write a full post today. My father passed away this Saturday, on Shabbat. I am currently in Nashville and will attend the funeral today. I am staying for shiva (seven day deep mourning period) and then will return to the kibbutz. Here is the obituary my stepmother wrote:
Dan Pankowsky, 3 January 1956-25 January 2014
Thank you all for your support. I will take a break from updating the blog until the end of the shloshim (thirty day secondary mourning period).


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A Quick Explanation

So a couple of days ago I was going over my past blogs and I noticed something important. I mentioned on several occasions that I can't wait to show this person and that school my IDF uniform, and I want to set the record straight.
For those of you who know me, I used to be a huge pacifist. I still strongly believe in the power of peace and the beauty of it. But, sadly, we do not live in a world that is filled with peace. And now I live in a country that is in a perpetual state of war. In order to ensure that civilians can at least go about their days and sleep soundly at night, it is imperative to keep a constant flow of able bodied soldiers to protect our borders and cities. I firmly believe that every person currently serving in the IDF has an important job. Sometimes it might be boring, and many have desk jobs with mundane assignments. But in the end, everything is dependent on each other. From accounting to counseling, parachute folders to pilots, everything counts. When I serve, I want to represent the State of Israel as much as possible. I want to show that a random girl from Nashville can do whatever job I end up with, and do it well. It's less about, "ooh look at my badass uniform" and more about the way people perceive a soldier in uniform. If I do become a paramedic, I want my high school biology teacher to be able to see with her own eyes the medic pin. I want kids from Akiva to look at me and say, "I want to help Israel, too." I want my family to see the beret I earned at a ceremony they might have missed.
It's not about the uniform itself. It's about what it represents, that I earned it and that I want to protect Israel and what it stands for. And as I might not even be allowed to take my uniform to Nashville, then I will still have with me the ideals that come with being an ambassador to Israel. I will have stories, photos, and more. I want to spread among all the people I know a taste of what it's like to be proud of Israel through being proud of me.
And yes, I have all these great plans of medical corps, maybe navy or first response teams or whatever, but in the end, no matter what my job is or where, I will still be serving Israel and doing something to contribute to its survival. And that's the most important thing of all.


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Bruchim HaBa'im LaRakefet (Welcome to Rakefet)

Word of the day:

נזלת

Nazelet

Snot/booger/a runny nose

This was the first word I learned last Wednesday on my first day working in the gan (kindergarten). Clearly, it's not the most glamorous or the easiest job, but it's one of the most rewarding and unique jobs. I've worked with children on many different playing fields for many years, but never more than a night here and there of babysitting with two year-olds, and now I am one-fourth responsible three days a week for fifteen of them. I absolutely love it, but it can be very hard when their vocabulary exceeds mine. All the kids in Rakefet (the name of our classroom) are so adorable! We take them on a daily tiyul (trip/walk) around the kibbutz, and they always make a funny sound when they run and fall over a lot. These tiyulim are actually really helpful to me. A kibbutz tiyul means I am learning about the kibbutz, different shortcuts, and seeing the relationship a kibbutz builds (while one kid from our class is saying hi to his grandma, one of the teachers has a chance to say hi to her daughter who is also on a tiyul). This is all most of the kids have ever known (a few parents from the outside pay to have their kids in our gan), but for me, it is completely new and so incredibly special.

Tiyul in the wadi (empty because of no rain)

The amazing thing about kibbutz life is that since everyone lives, eats, and works in the same area, I have met some of my student's parents outside of the classroom just by walking by the playground, going to Shabbat dinner, or having a picnic on the lawn. Also, the ulpan house is right in the center of the kibbutz. It takes less than one minute to walk from our house to the gan, the dining hall, the ulpan office, and the mercolit (food store on the kibbutz). Even more places are a two minute walk, and it's just the strangest thing for me to be able to roll out of bed, get dressed, and be in the gan with a coffee in hand in under five minutes. So far, I've been the medic and tour guide for many people here! While moving or building cabinets, two different guys have gotten pretty serious cuts, but I have the biggest and most versatile first aid kit and am always the first to respond (come on, it's in my nature!). And like I said before, walking around the gan really gives me an advantage with shortcuts. Until Friday, we were all walking all the way around the dining hall to get to the kol-bo (convenience store), but then the rakefet (my class's name) kum kum (electric kettle) broke so we integrated it into our tiyul. Apparently we can just cut through the playground!

Some of us went on a short hike on Shabbat and this was a small portion of the view 

There are hibiscus flowers all over the kibbutz

Yagur is so beautiful. We are right at the bottom of the Galil mountains (close enough to climb them whenever we like), and it reminds me so much of Tennessee. I feel so at home here, not just because of that, but also the atmosphere. People are so kind and truly want to help us learn Hebrew and integrate into Israeli society. One of my coworkers in Rakefet told me that she had a discussion with Ari, the ulpan housemother (his offical title), and that I seem like a good person who wants to do well here. She told me to ask if I need anything, to just ask because I am part of their family now!

I've made a lot of friends here, in the ulpan and in the kibbutz. My roommate arrived Thursday. She is a tourist (just what we call people who did not make aliyah) from France, which is really cool, and she is also one of the youngest on the program so far. My closest friend on the program is an olah chadashah from Manhattan who is on her second kibbutz ulpan, so she really knows what she's doing. We have representatives from these countries (so far, and if my count is right):

USA- 11

Canada- 3

Uruguay- 2

Russia- 1

Ukraine- 5
Uzbekistan- 2

France- 5

England- 1

Holland- 2
Venezuela-1
Taiwan- 1
Albania- 1

In the ulpan office, a mural of all the countries that have been represented in the program

It's so cool to meet all these different people from so many cultures. Sometimes (like with the Russian speakers) there is a difficult language barrier, but we've learned to use Google Translate and charades to communicate! We are all trying to be friends, so all the time we are hanging out on the benches and table in front of the building, even when it's cold. Yesterday, a guy from France finally got his Teudat Zehut, making his aliyah official, so we toasted him at dinner. A couple of people, after being here for a bit of time, have decided to make aliyah during or after the ulpan.

The refet (dairy farm) provides milk for cheese that is made on the kibbutz

Yesterday we officially started classes. Since I am in gimel (yep, I did it!), I had work yesterday and today was my first day of class. It is already really challenging, but with enough effort I'll be able to be okay. In our class, we have six people from the ulpan, two from the Russian Beit Rishon (first home) on the kibbutz, and one woman who is commuting from another kibbutz. We all have our strengths and weaknesses (my vocabulary is lacking but I am really good at grammar), so we are helping each other.

I try to talk to both of my parents every day, but sometimes I end up switching off days. I can't believe how strong a relationship I have with both of them right now. It is so important to me that I talk to each of them at least every other day (even if we're just saying hi), but I really love that I can talk to both of them about anything. Being in this new space where I am starting fresh and don't know a whole lot of people, it's nice to hear familiar voices (and sometimes see familiar faces) and be able to tell them about all these things I'm experiencing and hearing about their lives. Last Tuesday was my brother's birthday, and I got a bunch of people to sing to him. Friday was my dad's birthday and I walked to the gan and, when he was the only one awake in the house, I sang just for him. After a while, Nathan woke up and we all got on FaceTime and I showed them a bit around the kibbutz. It was such a treat for Shabbat! Yesterday, I got to talk to my sister for an hour which was fantastic. It's so hard being away from my family in this hard time, but fortunately I have a little help. Don't tell Usdi or Waya, but I've found another dog! A friend from the kibbutz lets me hang out with his dog, Sally, and even asked me to walk her yesterday. She's so sweet and cuddly!

Also, in regards to army, there are people coming to help us figure out how to begin or continue our process. If I write my letter to relinquish my year of grace soon, I will be able to be drafted in August just like I planned! I will probably have to go to Mikve Alon (the ulpan base), but it will be really helpful and I learned it won't stop me from being a paramedic.
Everything is falling into place here, y'all.

Love,
From Kibbutz Yagur,
Shirit

Moving to Yagur

So I'm finally at my next step, kibbutz yagur! It's weird being here, like being that kid that shows up to college before the dorms open. There's only a few people that showed up today, none of whom speak English. We live in a converted gan (or children's) house, so all the beds are small and the railings are low. The ulpan classroom is just downstairs so on class days we can just roll out of bed and grab some coffee from the small kitchen on our way. I've been assigned to working with the babies (little or no Hebrew required) and I start Sunday! Tomorrow we are taking our placement exams so they can figure out what level we're in. I'm hoping to be in gimel (level 3) but I'll probably be in bet (level 2). I met the housemother (who is actually a guy and used to be the head of the program) and the head of the program. They're really nice, and are both second generation kibbutzniks. There's also this guy who made Aliyah 36 years ago from New York, and although he's a fitness trainer in the gym, he hangs out with us to speak English and tell stories about making Aliyah in the 70's and 80's. He's going to be helping me with my army prep and is one of the coolest people I've ever met. Here's some pictures of my trip to Haifa and the kibbutz today!




























(The puppy picture is because I'm missing Usdi and Waya)

As I know some of you may be wondering, a couple of weeks ago, I got a call from Jill saying that my dad's chemotherapy wasn't working. The doctors told her that the time between trials would be too long, so he's off the treatment and in home hospice. I've gotten to talk to him just about every other day. Some days are better than others, but even if I just hear his voice for two minutes I'm happy. This has been a long and hard journey for all of us but we fought with science and now we are fighting with prayers as best as we can. A lot of random times I remember some small detail about something we did together, while riding bikes or making pancakes (a not-so-secret lesson about carbon dioxide), some joke he told or a time I made him mad and was too proud to apologize, and I am so proud to call him my dad. We had some fantastic times, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Even now, if it's on Skype or just a rushed phone call, I treasure every inch of it. He got to celebrate his Hebrew birthday on Sunday and I called him first thing (for his morning) and sang to him in Hebrew. No matter what happens, things are okay now and Abba, since I know you'll be reading this almost as soon as I post it, I am so happy that we have the time we do now, even if it is long distance. I love you so much.

So, time to get this party started! I will be posting much more often now that I am in this new place. Let's go to ulpan!


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Hot Chocolate Day

I want to start off by apologizing to any of my readers if this is your only way of knowing what goes on with me. Last I wrote, I was going to visit my dad in Nashville for a week and a half. The day before I was supposed to leave, I decided to stay two more weeks.

It was very hard to be there.

I won't go into the details of the trip, but saying goodbye to my dad was easily one of the hardest things I've done. I don't know the next time I'll get to see him, but the time I did have with him was really special. I got to spend Thanksgiving and most of Chanukah with him, countless hours of just talking and playing games or watching movies. It was heartwarming to see how many people called to see how he was doing or brought food for Jill and Nathan. I did work some while I was there, and it was good to see my coworkers and boss. I got to see some of my friends, and those that I didn't see, I want to apologize. I tried to keep my trip quiet, and I did my best to see my dad as much as possible.

I stayed with my mom to reduce the amount of foot traffic in my dad's house, and it was really good to see her and my sister. I spent part of Chanukah with them, too, which I really appreciated.

I came back to Petah Tikva on Friday, right before Shabbat. I've mostly been sleeping since then, but Shmuel, Dovi, and Esther's mom is coming in town tomorrow so I have to get on a proper sleeping schedule tonight. I only have a few more weeks until I go to Kibbutz Yagur, and I am very excited, albeit cold. YES, it is cold here. It started raining a few days before I came back and hasn't stopped since. I wear so many layers and spend most of my day cuddled up in my blankets while I do things on my computer or sleep. It's the kind of cold where you don't need gloves but you wear two pairs of socks AND your super comfy and fluffy house slippers. The rainy season just started and I'm ready for it to be over, but I know it will be even worse when I move up north. I am more excited for Pesach to roll around than moving to the kibbutz because I will finally have my holiday in Israel and it will be warm again! Esther and I are nice and cozy in our room and drinking hot chocolate while we hope there are no flash floods (although there probably will be).

Until next time,

Shirit

P.S. Major props to Nathan for driving me back and forth almost every day so I could see our dad.

P.P.S. Vols finished up the season nicely, with a solid win against Kentucky. I will admit that I wasn't particularly interested in that game because the overlapping Auburn-Alabama game was so intense that I could barely focus on anything else. I supported Mizzou in the Iron Bowl against Auburn, but maybe Auburn can pull it off in the BCS National Championship game against FSU. We're looking at a fun month ahead in football. And I'll stay up for some of it.